Is this fair?
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It's not fair if your drowning. I went through something very similar with my partner for a long while. It almost broke us. We are in a much better place but it took a tremendous amount of work on both of our ends to come to a healthy compromise. Its something I would have left over ultimately. I wanted a family, not to be a married single mother.
No it’s not fair. I left my partner after total burnout of 10 years breaking myself doing everything, working, cooking, children, house, pets, admin etc. I’m not saying by any means you should leave but what it did for me was that After time alone he realised and had taken ownership of his slacking. We reconciled some time ago now and he pulls his weight. It’s so much more balanced now than ever. I hope you can find a way to come to happy medium and share your needs. He should want you to feel relaxed so your son and him both get the best version of you 💕🙏🏼
Sounds like he doesn't understand how you're feeling. Have you talked about it? Until he understands? Sometimes, we as women do such an amazing job, and we look like we've got it so under control that the man assumes we've got it and doesn't want to get in the way. At least, that's how my man was. I explained to him even if it looks like I've got it can you please help with "cooking" (be specific and use his skills) my man is a great cook and loves it so that's where he can help. But you're also working 3 days a week and imo you shouldn't be. Your house and child is your "work" You'll need to talk and write down all the things that need to get done. That may shed a light on what you're doing. Start with something small he can help out with that you won't micro manage and re-do because it's not done your way. Good luck mama!
No, it's not fair. My husband pays 95% of our bills if not all e etc month and also helps me out with our children, house work, yard care, taking to appointments, cooks sometimes, etc.
It's not fair at all. I would rather go to work than be a housewife because it's like having 5 jobs in one 24/7. He works for a set amount of time, and then he is done. We women are never done! Who is raising this men! I hope we do a better job with our sons
Honestly all the crap excuses these men come up with piss me off! Be a man and help 50/50 none of this I work more, I pay more just do it.
No, it's not fair show him the price he'd pay for a fulltime maid, a fulltime chef, and a part time nanny ( if your child is in daycare) tell him he can't afford that shit so stop playing around like he's a billionaire doing anything out of the ordinary. As an adult with no kids or partner, he'd need to pay bills. That's not an accomplishment he needs to also care for the family he's made. My partner works 5 days a week from home as well and pays everything (I work remotely during evenings) but he does almost more of thr childcare than I do. Your dude is crazy to even try that
No , it's not fair. He can do his share of the household work.
No it's not fair. He lives there too...he's eats there too...they are his kids too! He needs to grow up and be a partner not another child.
He pays the bill but he still lives in the house and is still a parent. Paying the bills doesn't absolve you of parenthood
I guess different people will have different views of what's 'fair'. For example we both work 5 days but he does a few extra bits after work and weekend whereas I'm mainly at home. Becaaue im home i mainly do the housework BUT if hes home and i ask him to pop the hoover round or wipe down the bathroom he will but thats maybe once or twice a month if im lucky. He earns slightly more so pays the majority of the bills and we share the food shops/ cooking. I often get fed up and feel drained and wish he did more but at the same time I like doing things my way and knowing what's been done. I may change my mind with a Newborn. Could you speak to him and ask for a simple maybe for a hand like hoovering once a week or taking turns cleaning a certain room? My midwife invited him to an appointment because he referred to my mat leave as a holiday, and he's agreed to help me out a bit more at least for the first few months.
My husband makes more than me but we pool our money and pay bills with that. Is he helping you at all? It’s bullshit if he lays around while you’re busting your ass in the evenings. Just saying. We pool our money and then we each take an “allowance” for our personal accounts and use that to buy makeup or clothes or nail appointments lol I don’t know what he’s buying but that’s what I’m doing.