The fact that you raised a child before means absolutely nothing
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I wouldn't trust random strangers just because they've raised babies. But I don't think I'd go so far as to say I wouldn't trust my own family or (most of) my partner's family. My SILs and I all have very different parenting styles and we don't agree on a good amount of things, but we still will all watch each other's kids because still know they'll be safe with us.
I agree to an extent. But, I still feel that there is often something to be learned from seasoned moms. I feel like a lot of people automatically dismiss advice from older generations. Things are different now. But, that doesn’t mean that anything they can offer isn’t helpful.
50/50. Just because a mom has raised a child before doesn't make her an expert but I don't think we should just disregard all the advice we get from more experienced moms. I value the older mom's advice on Peanut a lot, they've been there done that.
Let me correct myself, I’m not saying experienced moms don’t give good advice. I am just saying that one mothers experience is not the end all be all to parenting and new moms shouldn’t be shamed for not following the given advice. I think my initial post came off a tad harsh. I do welcome advice from others. I am just tired of defending my choices when I do something different.
My moms famous words are “I guess I’ve never had a baby” and “All 6 of you are still alive but whatever” and I keep saying In 5 years, everything I’m doing will be considered dangerous. THIS IS MY 5 YEARS. LET ME HAVE MY 5 YEARS!!!
Honestly my mum is like this , because she's had 5 kids as soon as I say something my own child needs she like "I have done this before" or "I know ,don't tell me how to suck eggs" I totally get what you mean lol 😂
A lot of the boomer generation get so offended because a lot of what was common practice back in their day raising kids e.g spanking, weaning really early, no car seats, giving baby small sips of alcohol to help them sleep, leaving kids to cry for long periods so they don’t get ‘spoilt’, are looked down upon today and it makes them feel inferior when they go to offer advice to a new mum, and the mum politely disagrees. That generation do not like to be wrong and cannot handle rejection so their go to response is usually “I raised x-amount of kids and they turned out fine” spoiler alert: they did not turn out fine 😂 If my daughter ever had kids and wants my help, I will offer my opinion/solution based on what I did when she was a baby, but my ego is not so big that if she says ‘no mum, science/research has shown that….’ that I would throw a hissy fit, in fact I would welcome being educated as to what the research says to do.
I agree, and while the tone may have been a little harsh I can also see that you recognized it. You are right though. Childcare standards have changed between now and then. My mom always lets me lead with parenting; she will give advice if asked, but she has made it very clear that I'm the parent and things will be done to my expectations. And I do regularly ask her advice and opinions because I recognize that she comes with a wealth of experience and information on raising kids.
My grandmother and mother in law sometimes get a little snappy and pushy with their advice, but I just try to remind them that times have changed and things aren't like they used to be. With my MIL the biggest thing is screen time, I think she gets offended that I limit it, as though I'm saying her choices with her own kids were somehow wrong. In that case, what I tell her is that screen time today is a lot different and more ubiquitous than it was back then and we have to be careful because there's so much of it, kids today can watch hours and hours of YouTube where they couldn't when it was just cable, so it's not that she did it "wrong," it's that it was easier to control back then. She could literally just cut the cable lmao and she did so on at least one occasion.
I agree! Why do people get so mad when you tell them what is acceptable now and the guidelines now? I’ve seen it so much with people when it comes to car seat safety, they get so mad when you say to RF until 4 minimum, they say it wasn’t the norm back when they were raising kids and their kids r fine and healthy… also with feeding! Getting mad bc people refuse to start weaning at 4 months and wait until 6 like recommended… it bugs me sm!