Should he have stayed?
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it goes down to what YOU want/expect and what you did to get that across to him. did you communicate with him that night that you wanted him to stay with you? unfortunately for some men, some things just aren’t common sense/etiquette. for me personally, i preferred my partner going home, and it’s what i communicated to him. i preferred that he was home with our other little ones and able to sleep comfortably. i wanted that hospital time for me just me and my newborn. it was like a magical holiday despite all the pain i felt from birth. 😂 i was happy to ask the midwives for help when necessary, they were amazing. when we had our first and second, he did stay with me, but i asked him to go home both times 😂 third time, he knew it’s genuinely what i wanted.
My partner stayed with me for 4 days in hospital, I would have been livid if he’d have left, although maybe slightly different circumstances I had sepsis and a rough premature birth
Wait I'm so confused that the hospitals you were all at lets partners stay? Mine was kicked out 😞 but just came back for the whole visiting time every day
@Tanya did you have your little one during covid restrictions? that is most likely why
My hospital didn’t allow my partner to stay in Feb 2023 as it was their rules so after my c section just before 5pm and he had to go at 9pm. If we had a choice he would have 100% stayed with no hesitation. I had an emergency operation before Christmas and my husband stayed in ICU with me and family took care of our daughter. At our most vulnerable times we need our loved ones by our side. It’s good that you have discussed this since so he knows how you feel and he will know what you expect and what is seen as reasonable for you both if this is needed in the future. Your feelings are justified so I guess it’s about how you move forward together to stop any potential resentment getting between you both. He might have thought he was doing the right thing at the time, and if he can appreciate how this made you feel then that’s a good step to help heal these feelings x
Nobody can stay at my hospital x
Gosh it's crazy to even learn that some places don't let the men stay! Apart from covid anyway. My partner stayed...I couldn't imagine him not being there. As for your mans reasoning...ummm it's a chair lol. You literally just birthed a human from your body! I think he could sacrifice his comfort one night to be there for you if it's allowed and you told him that's what you wanted.
My husband wanted to stay but our hospital didn’t allow them to stay . The reality is it’s better for them to go home and be rested to help. Xx
Did you ask him to stay and he said no? Mine stayed for 2 nights on an awful chair but popped home for a shower and for some air!
My husband stayed but had to come and go to check on our dog at home. He would be gone an hour tops. He also wanted to shower which I don’t blame him. He’s weird about hospitals lol
My partner was forced to go home due to COVID restrictions which lifted 2 weeks later 🙃 I also still feel resentful about it, but he insists he needed it, that he slept for 12 hours and probably wouldn't have been safe to drive use home the next day if he hadn't... Meanwhile, after labouring through the night I barely slept for 4 days due to breastfeeding, episiotomy and birth trauma. Yeah it's tricky but it's probably not worth ruminating over. Next time I'd send him home anyway to be with our kid and bring my mum or friend in to help.
If he had the opportunity to stay with you he definitely should had. My partner stayed with me until the midwives told him to go home and he came back straight after work until they kicked him out again. Did it every day until I left. With my second he slept for nearly a week on a really uncomfortable chair because he didn't want to leave me at my most vulnerable. The last night though he was fuming because one of the nurses told him he could of had the extra comfy recliner what was next door if he asked 😂😂 but yes you're justified in how you are/were feeling, especially if the only reason was because of an uncomfortable chair like you didn't just go through one of the hardest things someone can physically and mentally go through...