Husband as babysitter

I have the same issue. I’ve been making him do it by force. I still don’t really trust him alone with him just because he gets frustrated with him easily. (Not violently more like ignoring him crying, would put on a headset and ignore him or something) this morning I pretty much just kept sleeping through my usually 2hrs he lets me in the morning. Just kind of half helped him with like “hey maybe change his diaper” while I slept on the couch. Here for the advice lol

I asked my husband what his advice would be and he said “ most men are just lazy” Build him up and his confidence, educate him on the need of baby care.

Lol yes. My boyfriend doesn’t live with us yet, he’s 4 hours away. My mom is helping me at home while I work part time. Every time we get a chance to travel to see him, I give her to him for a good 15 minutes before he gets frustrated or tells me she’s annoying. I’m like…sir….i just drive 6 hours to see you and I’m with her for 19 of the 24 hours lol. I think a lot of men have to be asked for basic things that come a lot more second nature to women. I think a little gentle reminder that we’re in this together has helped a lot. Giving suggestions instead of demands has helped too. Asking a little more politely, even if you’re frustrated, has worked. Like instead of telling him to change her diaper, I’ve asked “hey, do you mind changing her this time?” or “maybe you could change her” so it’s not as confrontational

Honestly, that's most men unfortunately....you got some who would be really involved like my 1st daughter's dad and then my now partner who barely helps with anything. You just have to ask....men are not mind readers. Just simply say....hey! I need help and it would be nice if you could...and then tell him 😊 it takes a lot to ask for help I know that firsthand because I'd rather just do it myself then have my partner half ass it but if you don't ask or don't say anything trust me they will think you got it covered (which I'm sure you do) but its always nice to have the extra help.

Not at all, I'd just bring up the conversation it's not rude he's your husband. If you feel like you have to ask for help, then that's not right

My husband said that he wants me to take charge in this. He doesn't know much about babies and he said he would do what I say. It's started as me just telling him what to do and I would get irritated having to repeat myself. So I started teaching him, and explain to him why I am doing it that way. Ask him if he has any questions, and then tell him good job. I accepted he's built differently than me, he can ignore the babies while I can't. We just ocer communicated until we sorta felt like we found somewhat of a groove. Communicate with your partner. Tell them how you feel and really listen about how they feel. And give them lots of compliments lol

Yes, most man just literally watch 👀 the kids and nothing else 😵‍💫🤦🏻‍♀️

Totally agree communication is key (especially how you say it). Also, educating them. But here is the thing I hear most from men, I don’t like the newborn stage. Why? Because the baby doesn’t interact with them and they dont know how to connect or bond. So they engage at 6 months. We as mom’s know our babies are interacting and are communicating with us nonstop. Help hubby do tracking activities, tummy time, side play, reading, babble (have a whole convo with baby and mimic back their cooing), massages, getting baby to smile/laugh…All things where baby can give feedback and as a dad they feel the reward (bonding). The more engaged he may feel the more they can do the “tasks” of feeding and diaper changes because they will actually want to be with and understand baby. Good luck! It’s a hard convo to have, but i hear you wanting it to come from a loving place even if inside you are screaming “I need help!”

@Cristina you're so smart, thank you for sharing these tips. I will ask my husband to do these tracking activities next time I need help with my baby.