I just needed somewhere to post this letter

I’m struggling a lot right now mentally and could use some encouragement Dear BD, I used to cry myself to sleep because the man I fell in love with is not the man I see before me now. The man I loved took pride in being a father. He was present, engaged, and spoke about his children with a love so deep it was impossible not to admire. That’s the man I thought I was building a future with. But that man doesn’t exist when it comes to our son. It breaks my heart that Damian will never experience the kind of love and devotion you so freely give to your other children. Instead of finding ways to bond with him, you’ve chosen to stay away. You’ve made excuses—“the trip would cost too much,” “he’s just a baby, he won’t remember.” But do you not see? He will remember. He will remember your absence. He will remember the silence where a father’s love should have been. I don’t understand how this doesn’t break you. There is a child—your child—who walks this earth carrying your last name and your face, yet he doesn’t even know you. And for almost two years, I have tortured myself trying to make sense of it, trying to justify the unjustifiable. But I can’t anymore. You might be a great father to them, but you have failed to be one for Damian. And that is something I can no longer carry for you. I love my son with every piece of my heart. He is my soul. And while I wish he had a father who took pride in him, I will not beg you to be that man. That choice is, and always has been, yours alone. I am done holding onto hope that you will wake up one day and decide to do right by him. I am done waiting for you to be the man I thought you were. I am letting go—not just for my own peace, but for Damian’s. Because he deserves to be surrounded by love, not the lingering shadow of someone who chooses not to be there. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know this: I will never let my son feel unloved, unwanted, or unworthy because of your absence. He will grow up knowing that his mother chose him every single day. And in the end, that will be enough. Goodbye Kiara