Gentle parenting 🫠

I put them in their room, give them a space where they can be alone as they go thru the episode. It’s something I’ve learned has worked calm my toddler then screaming at him or trying to punish him.

@Vanny they scream harder and don't stop until I get them, then start back up again once they're out 🫠 it's never worked 😩

Try emphasizing the yeses more (“Yes, after pjs, I’ll time you!”, “Yes, we can get x the next time we z.”, etc). Keep your no for essentials. Some people are more sensitive to rejection/no than others. We build our regulation skills as we grow. ❤️

I get down to my daughter's level and tell her to take a deep breath and then we breath together or we count to 10, usually it calms her enough to where we can talk, I ask her what's wrong and then I'll suggest something else we can do

Have you tried taking them outside to look at nature or walk to calm down?

@🍉 Rowena that's what I've always done. Neither have ever accepted that for the most part 😅 sometimes they'll say "okay" and go about their time but it's usually met with screaming and a tantrum. I try to calmly explain "it's not a no, we just have to wait a little bit"

I try to acknowledge the feelings and comfort them (I think it ends the meltdown faster that way) but I don’t give in. Once they start to calm a bit I try to redirect. Sometimes I make a compromise like telling them when they WILL be able to have the thing even if it’s not till tomorrow or something.

@Nevaeh i try that along with a sensory squeeze (recommended by an OT) but he just keeps screaming 🥲 he's been overly fussy since the day he was born and I keep getting blown off by every pediatrician I meet with saying "it might just be his personality" 🫠

@Abie outside hasn't been much of an option with it being an incredibly cold winter this year 😅 but come summer time, we'll be outside a lot more

What about options… I say this as someone who is autistic with pda and who has a kid like me… rather than saying not until after pjs… say you can have it after pjs or and then give another option… so they have a sense of control…

If I’m honest, I’d let them eat the granola bar. Even for myself as an adult I sometimes need to indulge in the snack or treat that I’m craving to access any feeling of genuine hunger. 🤷‍♀️ (This part is just my personal philosophy on it, I am not implying any judgement towards anybody who does things differently) I trust that my kid knows their body and don’t withhold food, I’ll encourage substantial real food first, but if they insist on having a snack instead I’ll try to reason and encourage real food first one more time, but I’d rather them eat SOMETHING, rather than nothing. In our house food is a human right, not something that is contingent on compliance to have access to.

@Parker 又 I 100% encourage real food first. We try to offer him his dinner and a second dinner before we resort to snacks that don't have a ton of nutritional value like a granola bar. I would never just let my child starve over a granola bar. That being said, if it were up to him, he'd literally only eat granola bars and nothing else.

@Lyss we usually try to offer something else if he doesn't want to eat his dinner, but he usually doesn't accept anything other than that one thing. Like I said above, if it were up to him, he'd probably literally only eat granola bars and nothing else. Probably also apples because he's obsessed lol

I hear you! I wasn’t assuming or implying anything! (My son is a sucker for apples too lolol) I was just saying how we personally navigate toddler eating habits in our house 🤷‍♀️ we’ve never been like “oh no that’ll make you too full for ___” most the time we’d kinda just compromise & give a smaller piece than the child expects 😂 And then we ask about real food again A possibly helpful way to go about it would be maybe look into granola bar recipes you can make at home together that you can make more nutritional like with adding proteins & less processed chocolates n such 🤷‍♀️

Out of interest why can’t he have it after his dinner? Did he eat all his dinner? Did he sit nicely at the dinner table while doing so? Did he ask politely for one? I would be minded to say ok if so? Why does he have to wait till after he’s in his pjs to have his pudding? Isn’t that teeth brushed and bedtime? Just playing devils advocate here :)

https://open.spotify.com/show/2nBjXlZiCgLAZP4sLBli5e?si=H_0m1PkPRzKD2HU3jsNYAg I switched from gentle parenting to this tactic and jfc it's like night and day. My toddlers tantrums are like 2-3 minutes now versus before 🫠🫠🫠 just draining. Give her podcast a listen.

What is it with toddlers and granola bars?? 😂

@Francesca we do dinner, playtime with dad since he gets home around dinner, pjs, snack, begin to wind down a bit, brush teeth, then start laying down for bed. It's a routine we've had since my oldest was a toddler so it's not like anything new haha He almost never finishes dinner and fights his way through, half his dinner usually ends up on him, the table, the floor or all of the above. We're working towards table manners and manners in general but he usually will "chip chip one!" And will repeat that until he gets it. Redirection has always been a struggle with my boys for some reason haha

@Parker 又 I do that too lol they're always asking for snacks up until dinner and I just portion size so they're happy but still hungry for dinner haha I actually saw a recipe for banana oat bars I want to try out! But I'm 31 weeks pregnant and probably won't be able to keep up with making bars every other the day 😅

Ah ok you sound like you have an established routine which is perfect and half the battle when trying to discipline. Is he a good eater other times and it’s just dinner time? We don’t force the food thing, he eats if he’s hungry. You need to not give in to this learnt behaviour. Just let him scream. Honestly they will give up and the tantrum will pass. But you have to be consistent. How old? They aren’t stupid they know exactly what they are doing and how to make you do things for them. Ie. Giving them chocolate before bed.