Feel like a loser..
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Feel like I could have written this myself near enough! 33, no career, want to be home with my 1 year old (which I am) but then feel like I can’t enjoy it and be in the present as much as I should be because I’m constantly thinking about wanting to have a career, but then I don’t want to leave her till she’s a bit older 🙈 it’s like a battle in my own head, its so frustrating!
@Rachael you’re sister is definitely right, it’s never too late and all that but my problem is i have ambitions but I know if I pursue them my time and energy will be put into that instead of my family and that’s the problem. I don’t know how people who have amazing careers/businesses do it tbh. I guess we all want both don’t we 🙈 I definitely do cherish the little moments, like when I can sit with a cuppa and a crossword whilst LO plays in the garden and big one is at school. I think social media makes me feel worse when I’m already feeling bad x
@Madelaine very frustrating. It’s true what they say “the years are short but the days are long” x
Absolutely! This is my last baby too so I want to enjoy it as much as possible and take in every little moment but some days it is hard. I also have absolutely no idea what I want to do career wise anyway 🙈 xx
I have kids the same age and also feel this way I could’ve written this myself
I am 38, no career also...I know what you feel...you are definitely not alone xx
I feel this. My kids are 16, 4, and 3. I became a sahm after having my 4 year old. Before that I worked at a bank but it was more of a job than a career. I'm glad I get to stay home for now but I can't help feeling anxious for the future. I know the longer I'm out of the work force the harder it will be to get back in. And honestly I don't know what I want to do. I had a meltdown the other day to my husband. I told him I like being a sahm but it's not forever and what am I going to do after that, be a stay at home wife?? That thought kills me. Nothing against anyone who would want to do that. But personally I'd like to have something else. Editing to add, we are homeschooling our youngest two so I won't be going back to school anytime soon, except maybe part time
I would love to be a stay at home mom but we can’t afford it. I do have a work from home job and I have my kids with me a majority of the time so it’s a good in between! If I had to work outside of the home, I think I’d be wishing I was at home with my kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love making money and having that independence but I also love spending as much time with my kids as possible. I think it’s perfectly normal to want both lives simultaneously because there’s pros and cons to each.
Hey, I work full time with three kids - you can be a present mum while doing other things. All you can do is try different things until you feel like you’ve found what works for your family, and what works for you won’t necessarily be what works for others. However, using vocabulary like “loser” about yourself isn’t ok, and it’s worth practising giving yourself a bit of grace in this situation, you’re doing the best you can :)
I feel like this sometimes. I have 2 kids (2 and 4) and I have to work full time because we can’t afford to survive otherwise, I’m very lucky that I have family to watch my children and my late Nana paid for our children to go to nursery/childminders on a few days too. I work as a secretary, it’s a job not a career. Some days I look at other people I grew up with and wish I’d been a bit more career minded like them; I have friends who are doctors/lawyers/teachers and who do really well for themselves. But my sister made a great point the other day; she said you don’t have to do just one career your entire life, you can retrain at 50 and do something completely different. You’re not a loser, your life is just different to other people. I try and focus on the good parts of life and find little sparkles in everyday even if it’s only that your first coffee was hot that day!