Birthday Party
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shes clearly going through something, maybe see if she is okay?
@LeKenya exactly, I agree with you. She lives in Manhattan (in the city) and the party was on Long Island (in the suburbs), so most people will want to drive there even though you can take a railroad train there some people think that’s inconvenient. And I don’t know if she drives. In NYC not everyone drives or has a car. But it’s the fact that she didn’t offer an explanation or tell me what’s wrong and let me know what happened and that she can’t go. Not even the next day or two days later. And we are Facebook buddies, so I look on Facebook and she posted numerous things on Facebook today and yesterday and her husband posted things on her Facebook too.
@Dana That thought did cross my mind- see if something didn’t happen to her. Even though I think that would be rare. Most likely the person is ok, but I thought you never know. So I did look on her Facebook (we are Facebook buddies) and she has posted numerous posts on Facebook today and yesterday and her husband has posted on her Facebook too. So she is fine. The post’s aren’t bad or dark or unusual either like she is going through something bad. If she has time and energy to post on Facebook she can at least text me.
Thing happen and plans fall though but a true friend would apologise for not turning up and offering an explanation, just as a true friend would be understanding that things happen out of one’s control. Your police officer friend is a true friend. Your sister in law and cousin are true friends. If is having time to post things on Facebook then she is ok. You said you hold yourself to a high standard and you care. I would not waste your precious time anymore worrying about this……. Life is too short. I may sound harsh but I have been there and kept being burnt by a friend who disappointed me every time and made me feel like I was not worthy of her time. I made a huge effort but she would not make it with some poor excuse, the final straw was she had arranged a dinner then pulled out as she not feeling well then the next day put a post on Facebook going out with work friends doing an activity despite being so ill she could not meet up for a sit down meal. Go figure.
She had an argument with her husband, last thing on her mind is going to a birthday party. I know it’s important to you but it’s not as important to her. Give her a break. She probably feels bad but is going through something. Did you ask her how she was? Because it looks like you just said “oh ok” because you were disappointed you were not getting what you wanted. Her to be there.
You never know what is going on in other people's lives. She could have been going through a terrible time that she didn't want to talk about. Alternatively, she could just be flakey and a crap friend. It depends how much you want her in your life. I always try to let people do whatever they need/want to do and then I learn and make future decisions according. Does that make sense? People generally let you down as everyone has their own priorities. Just focus on the people that did come and the main thing, that your son had a nice birthday
You know the advice you need to take 🥰you’ve been taking it since your last contact to her..she’s shown you your importance in her life
She's probably going through something but.... How far into long Island are you? My friends live in Garden City and it's a trek to get there with two kids and no car from Manhattan. She's also not going to post drama on FB. Usually the more positive lovey FB posts is an overcompensation for what really happened 🙄
i just know its very emotionally taxing when i fight with my husband and i am unable to operate like the rest of the day
People treat you exactly how they feel about you. If you were a priority, she would have been there, even if she had to come by herself. The fact that she didn’t come and also didn’t offer an apology or explanation lets you know she doesn’t value you the way you value her. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Now that you know the character of the person you’re dealing with, act accordingly moving forward.