AITA?

This just sounds sooooo messy 😅

I think this is where reddit would throw in the old everybody sucks result. But also if you haven't spoken to the ex friend in a few years then it's not really her business and it's that friendship that would make you the AH so if youre not in contact anyway it really foesnt matter imo. But agree with Donna, very messy 😅

If it’s been years since you’ve been friends with this woman and all of you have moved on, then it should be ok to date him. If you’re still in contact with the friend and believe that you could be friends again, then no

This is messy and trifling all around the board im sorry 🙃😒 any friend or EX FRIEND ex’s is always off limits. You dont know the damn girl code??? lmaoo I lowkey want the ex friend to hook up with your ex too just to see that shit show unfold 😭😭😭*I like other people drama 🤷🏽‍♀️🤣

@Nicole I haven’t spoken to her since we were 18, we’re all in our 30’s now.

@Redss I know the girl code that’s why he never found out when she was stealing my panties to go see the one she cheated with but idk I’m tired of putting everyone else first

Girl just date the guy. Y’all are grown and neither of y’all have any ties to each other. It would be different if she was your sister or family member, but you guys were kids when all of this happened. Unless she’s stuck in the past and cyber stalking you, I doubt she would know or even care about this. If she did find out, it ain’t like y’all are friends or are forced to be around each other. Go have fun with him and stop letting things that happened over a decade ago interfere with your happiness

Its your coochie do what you please baby 🥳🥳🥳

You’ve already slept with him sooo why stop now? 🤣🤣

I don’t know why anyone thinks this is messy at all, you’re both grown and aren’t friends with her anymore so it really doesn’t matter. Sounds like you like each other, I’d see where it goes.

Okay it’s really not messy. Forget all this negativity. This happened when you guys were young and still kids. You’ve all grown in different aspects of your lives. For the sake of your sanity and happiness please let go of what happened in the past and see where it goes with him if u want to. Ur grown. U have free will. No one can whoop you. And this has nothing to do with no damn “girl code” she threw all that out the window herself and y’all were 18!! Put yourself first love and don’t worry bout what anyone has to say. It’s your life and you need to do what makes u happy and if he makes u happy then do him😌✨

Nah, if you haven’t even spoken to her for years and y’all are way older now and there is chemistry I would give it a shot. Just because she dated him when you guys were teenagers doesn’t mean she owns him now.

And I don’t even see how it would be messy? You aren’t the one that cheated on him and had a baby with someone else. So I wouldn’t even listen to anyone saying it’s a messy situation.

Because she dated him when you were kids means nothing now, especially if you don't even keep in touch and haven't for years? Seems like very uncomplicated to me. I'd more ask questions like is his children all with the same mum etc. Who he dated as a teenager means nothing 😅

When you haven't been friends since you were teens and you're now in your 30s I think the girl code holding you back has expired somewhere along the line. It's been nearly half your life since you even spoke at this point i think it's totally fine

They are exs. You have not been friends for years either. I don’t see the issue!

I mean, you're not even friends with her anymore, so I don't see what the problem is? Go for it girl!

Ex friend for a reason, it doesn’t matter anymore. Girl code no longer applies, I say go for it

well the ex bestfriend already cheated on this guy, got pregnant with someone else. you haven’t been in contact with her.. he’s up for grabs since you already slept with him .. she’s not a friend currently the girl code rule is not a factor I don’t see anything wrong with this but it might be awkward however if you don’t mind and he doesn’t life goes on you’re grown adults.

What church do you guys go to? Just curious.

As long as he’s not using you as revenge

You’re all grown up and haven’t spoke to her in years. I say this as someone who’s ex best friend was cheating with my ex bf for a year. While we were dating. This isn’t even remotely the same situation and tbh it sounds like your ex best friend was the messy one who caused the end to that relationship not the dude. So I say it’s fine. Go for it.

@Naz well this has run across my mind, he says he cares for me. The way he held my hands and made me look in his eyes so I wouldn’t cry when we were talking makes me think he does. Also years ago in our twenties he stayed over at mine, we fell asleep and when I woke up his arm was around me. This was way before her and the friend got together or he knew she cheated him.

Um, I married my ex boyfriend’s best friend. Well, was best friend 🤷🏻‍♀️ They stopped talking for years before I even met my husband. My ex boyfriend left/broke up with me via text. He got with someone else a week later and later got her pregnant. They’re still together until this day but recently they got engaged.

I couldn't even really read through this because it sounds like drama but I remember what it's like to be single too. Just do you, as long as it isn't hurting anyone who cares?. Edit. I had a "fling" I'd seen on and off for a decade and he left quite the impression on me for most of my youth/adult life and honestly I'm so glad that I'm married and he isn't even a thought anymore. I wish I'd only dated/had sex with people with the intent to marry because I wasted so much time, energy and thoughts on guys just over sex and sweet nothing's and regret it

Get to know him deeper, take it slow and see if his words match his actions/ intentions. In this situation I don’t see your ex friend as someone you should consider. Time has passed and you guys were a lot younger from what I understand back the , But do thread carefully as you would with any new relationship.

Its not messy at all ypu guys aren't even friends

@Redss that’s such an immature mindset. If people dated at 15, 17, heck 25 and weren’t compatible-that girl code makes no sense. People change. Unless the person was abusive etc…why would you not be able to date someone just because a friend dated them? Nonsense. AND even if I believed in girl code…they aren’t friends! Haven’t been in years! And she cheated on him so he’s not even the bad guy!

@ALI I can care less . Have a great day 😊

@Redss it’s .. “I couldn’t care less”

@Marie how about this … I dont give a flying fuck 🥴

@Redss wow the attitude on it! Is that why you’re single and your baby is only 3 months old?

@Mikaela yup thats exactly why 🤣im a single mom … not necessarily single 😊

@Mikaela RUDE AF!! There is no need to get personal over a difference of opinion.

@Donna Woods oh no let her miserable ass be hun ! She thought she had a one up on me and assumed completely wrong . Nobody knows how to let people have their own opinions on topics anymore on this app im use to it 🤷🏽‍♀️💯she searched my profile and saw “single mommy” and ran with it lmaoo like she cant be in the same shoes in a SNAP

@Mikaela girl I would not be taking digs at people if I were you… especially when there’s SO many people could take at you.

@Mikaela bruuuuuh. Let’s stay on topic. No need to get personal.

@Fel take at you? What does that mean?

“There are so many people could take at you” Jesus. See 😂 clearly you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Meaning there are many digs that people could take at you if they chose too.

Yeah I’m gonna take it slow and see. Funnily enough he literally asked if I wanted to get married 🤭 not officially but in conversation.

Like in general sometime in the future to see if your wants align in that way or like actually meaning if you would want to get married to him? Because if it's the latter maybe be a bit wary if he's talking like that and its new