What do you say when your son says, "I hate you!"?

I’m sorry I know this probably hurts. Kids pick up things from everywhere. So it could be something he’s heard on tv and thinks it’s funny because it gets a reaction out of you. I would just say I love you as much as he says it and try to replace his new phrase. I said oh $hit the other day and now my 3 year old won’t stop. But we’re slowing replacing it with oh no! It’s just a phrase and he really doesn’t understand the full meaning behind it

I'm reading a very interesting book that says about 3 to 5yrs, boys gradually pull away from his mom to formulate a masculine identity. I'm not a professional in the subject, but I just wonder if maybe it is related to that and is just a phase. I agree with the comment from Megan, and I would just make sure to tell my kid that I love him if he says such a thing to me.

We haven't had i hate you yet but we constantly get "i don't like you" or "I'm scared of you". If it's random and he's not been naughty beforehand I say "well i love you enough for the both of us". If he's saying it because I've told him off I either say "I don't like your behaviour" or I turn it round and ask, "if I kept telling you that I didn't like you, would it make you happy or sad?" He will usually say sad so I tell him that it makes me sad too when he says it and on most occasions I get a sorry It cut like a knife the first time he said it, now he's said it so many times, it's just one of them things. I know he doesn't mean it and I'm sure yours doesn't either 🥰

My daughter did this and I said it back to her and she hasn’t said it since 😅 I can’t remember where I saw/read it but I read that you should say it back. I can’t remember why but I did it and it never got said again 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hasn’t happened with my son though

I would try to figure out what’s the impulse behind him saying it. Is it to get a reaction? Says it when he’s frustrated or upset or seeking attention? I would avoid saying that him doing x makes you feel y, because a little kid isn’t responsible for adult emotions. Try responding with things like “it seems like you’re frustrated because I told you we needed to stop playing” (or whatever it is). It’s ok to be upset about that but we use kind words in our house. And then replace the I hate you phrase with something he could stay instead.

I have a 5 year old boy. I believe he might’ve said, “I hate you” at some point but immediately got redirected and told/explained that it’s not nice to say that. It’s mean. That hurt our feelings and it could hurt other people’s feelings too and/or I said it back to him. lmao. But, he is getting to the stage/phase where he says, “I don’t like you” because he doesn’t get his way. Then he’ll ask for his dad. I’m like, “boy, your dad ain’t gonna do shit. He’s gonna say the same shit I did so whats make him any different than me? But okay. Cry and call for your dad all you want” 🤣🤣 He also have been talking back 🙃 I also have another boy, soon to be 4 months old.. I’m starting all over again 😬

If my son said that I’d ignore it and walk away but I don’t know if that would work. You know he doesn’t mean it though!

The first time I'd say "that's a pretty upsetting thing to say and has made mummy sad, but I love you" After that I wouldn't acknowledge it

My son is almost 4 and he's started telling me that he doesn't love me. Mostly when he doesn't get his way. But then throughout the rest of the day he will come tell me that he loves me. It really hurt the first time he told me but I know he's just upset.

My son never said it but he asks me to go away, he wants to play on his own. It hurt the first time he said go away and I explained it hurt my feelings, I'd rather he says I would like to be alone. Well that's what I've been getting.. I'm happy for his independence though. He also says stuff like i want daddy to take me there or asks his dad to play with him. Breaks my heart. As others said, I would also redirect and ask him to voice out what he is upset about with you as you love him and would like to work this out and create a loving space and communication. After trying a few times and IF it still doesn't work, I would ignore it as perhaps he is just looking for a reaction. Best of luck mama.

My mom runs a daycare and every time a kid says something negative to her she replies with something positive. So maybe try this: him: “I hate you” you: “well i don’t hate you, I love you” with a smile good luck ❤️

My son did the same once, I said the same back to him. He looked at me, and apologised immediately and it never happened again.

Does he open up if you simply follow up with “Why?”