Husband cheating while I’m pregnant

I’m 23 weeks pregnant and going through a really tough time. I recently discovered that my husband (married for 1.5 years, together for 8) has been seeing escorts since December 2024, even during my difficult first trimester and recent work trips. I found texts, transactions, and location data but haven’t confronted him yet. He had spent almost $1000 in these 3 months We’ve had multiple relocations, financial struggles, and his work visa situation adds pressure. His sudden niceness feels manipulative, especially since I mentioned leaving for my home country for better support. His family also insists I give birth in the U.S. for citizenship reasons, but I’m prioritizing my mental and physical health. I’ve been losing weight, poor nutrition, crying everyday, feel extremely lonely, poor appetite and I’ve to cook by myself every single day, feeling anxious and panic attacks often whenever husband is back home from work, overthinking, lack of sleep, etc I feel disgusted about his presence around me and when he pretends to talk to the baby in the womb as if he is a saint I’ve booked my tickets to go home and plan to deliver there because I worry that giving birth here will limit my future options. I’ve read about legal complications regarding traveling with a child born in the U.S. and don’t want to be trapped in a situation where I have no control. I haven’t confronted him yet, but I want him to know I’m choosing this path for myself and my baby. When is the right time to bring it up, before I leave, after I settle, or after birth? Should I even confront him at all? Am I making the right decision? Should I let my in laws know?

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I would tell him after you leave if you are worried about your safety. If you’re not you can atleast confront the cheating and leave out the leaving part. I’d tell the in laws what he did so they don’t talk about you

I’d play it out like your going to visit family, then don’t go back to him. You don’t owe him anything. Tell him after your back home. Just keep this all to yourself for now. Good luck girl

I didn’t tell my partner when I left when I had a newborn baby and he was cheating on me constantly and looking up escorts. I knew if I confronted him he would manipulate me and lie as I tried to leave before and he always drew me back in. I left one morning when my baby woke up and left him a note telling him what I thought of him! Now focusing on my baby and giving her the best and happiest life. Stay strong. You’ve got this and your baby will be your drive you’ve got to think of what your child deserves and a man like my ex wouldn’t ever stop. It made me sad to think that my ex too was sleeping around when I was pregnant and especially my first trimester and would have been so heartbroken if he jeprodized anything to do with my pregnancy. You are making the right decision and although it will be hard at first especially with a newborn you will be glad you got away from someone that doesn’t have any value or respect for you.

@Megan just messaged xx

Also I told his family so they knew what he was like and so they weren’t a part of his plan to try and pretend he is a nice guy

Leave first! Speaking from experience. He will do everything in his power to get you to stay while putting the blame on you. Thinking that being in that toxicity of an environment for the baby is really just you making up an excuse for you wanting to stay. The baby can feel all the stress and frustration you do. So get out now for the sake of your lo. If you have family to help for the time being go to that safety net. Leave and then talk to them as to why you left and later y'all can come to an understanding on how they go about seeing your lo. Wait till you get settled then let him know why you left. Even if he says he'll stop.. he won't he'll keep doing it because he doesn't respect you. Trying to please him and gain his respect is only going to make you miserable and it won't help later down the line when postpartum hits. Take care of you and your lo.

I would leave first and make sure you and baby are safe before telling him, unfortunately you really don’t know what some people are capable of when they feel like their normal every day life will be disrupted or taken away. Please be safe 💕

For your safety, I wouldn’t tell him. He’s not acting like a soon to be dad. He’s being reckless. If it’s meant to be he’ll get it together but that doesn’t mean you need to wait to see if he does or not.

Definitely don’t tell your in laws either. At the end of the day that’s his family

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