Second time Mum really struggling
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Hi @Laura. Honestly, your kind message means a lot! I think I am failing to clearly articulate to him just what you have said, that pregnancy is really hard. I think because I was possibly able to do more first time round and didn’t have so much pain and other things going on that he possibly thinks I’m not doing enough this time. But I’m not sure because he gets passively angry and when I ask him about it he says that he isn’t and that I’m reading things wrong. And then this evening it just became a situation where he got really angry at me for trying to explain how hard I’ve been finding it. It’s tricky.
Sorry for the late message btw, serious pregnancy insomnia here 😂🩷
No two pregnancies are the same and our bodies feel it more going through it again. He can ask your midwife if he doesn't believe you and guaranteed she'd set him straight. I asked mine why my pelvic pain started so much earlier and so much worse and she told me if you had it in your first, it would be worse in your second. Plus the additional demand of looking after another child, you won't be getting the same rest. Pregnancy isn't a sickness, but that doesn't mean we don't suffer from the symptoms. He likely feels more of a strain too given there is another child in the mix so he may feel he is doing more - which he may well have to! You're busy growing bones and muscles from scratch 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Your body is NEVER resting. When he sleeps, he recovers. When we sleep, we are still busy. It shouldn't be underestimated no matter how many women go through this on a daily basis.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. As others have said your body is going through a lot 24/7 for this baby which isn’t to be underestimated. I’m only on my first but have heard from all sources that you feel it more with each subsequent pregnancy. Regardless, your partner should be supporting whatever you need even if that means doing more of the cooking/cleaning than he normally would. I would definitely try explaining to him again when he seems to be in a good mood - perhaps try phrasing it another way that he might be more receptive to. But please try and get him to help. Failing that, do you have any family/friends nearby that can help? Him being unsupportive now concerns me as raising 2 little ones is very demanding. I hope he sees your perspective and things improve for you soon! ❤️
my little one always wants me to chase her or play on the floor with her and i feel so bad cause she doesn’t understand that i can’t physically do those things atm and her dad works a lot so it’s just the two of us so i feel like she’s already being left out
I'm really annoyed reading this that he isn't being more supportive. Pregnancy is no joke! It isn't easy and it DEFINITELY isn't easy with full time work and a toddler. I'm in the same boat in that regard, but my partner is picking up the slack x100. We aren't pregnant for long in the grand scheme of things, but it doesn't diminish how hard it is. I don't have any advice, I just wanted you to know you aren't alone, aren't overreacting and definitely deserve more support and compassion ❤️