Need advice

I wouldn’t invite him for the birth and I most definitely wouldn’t allow him to sign the birth certificate if you’re worried that he may try to get any sort of custody of the baby. If you’re wanting child support then I would but you’d still be willing to be okay with the possibility that he may try to get custody even if it’s just to spite you. Because if he is on the birth certificate then he has parental rights.

@Fel this is what I am concerned about as I know he would use our baby against me like he does with our dogs who I haven’t seen for months as I “don’t deserve” to see them. Just out of curiosity why would you not invite him to the birth? He would not be my birthing partner but I wouldn’t have an issue with him being present as I would have my support system with me but still open to why you wouldn’t allow him to be there! x

I wouldn’t have him there for the fact that majority of the birthing process is honestly about you. If you want him to be able to see the baby, then I’d reach out during labor to let him know he’s coming and tell him I’ll reach out again once the baby is here for you to come meet your son. But unless he’s there to support you or cut the cord, with the current situation it would be riskier for him to be there than not. I also don’t think him signing the bc is a smart move. If he were to be that great dad, he wouldn’t be assaulting you while pregnant putting you or the child in danger. You need to be alive and safe to raise the child too. And he needs to be setting an example for the child to follow, so if there’s no remorse or changed behavior - I wouldn’t feel comfortable him having private visits with the child or not returning him to spite you. Let him fight for his rights and show he wants it vs you giving him such easy access when he wouldn’t care what happened to y’all clearly

Absolutely not, what kind of role model would he be if he could treat you so poorly! No, definitely not, goodbye don’t bring him to the birth or put him on the birth certificate, yuck! Your child can have a lovely new stepdad one day when you’re ready who can adopt them like my stepdad did with me! 🙏🏼

Listen to what you put “there are currently bail conditions that prevent him from having any contact with me after the most recent incident where he dragged me out of the house by my hair” what on earth makes you think this man should be by your side at the most vulnerable moment of your life? He sounds completely awful and going from having no contact by law to pretending all is well in the delivery room is just asking for trouble, save yourself the stress and risk!

Hellll no he wouldn’t be there during the birth or after the birth if he has no problem beating women up then he has no problem beating kids up please get full custody and never let him have that baby

Hey girl I’m in a very similar situation to yours. I’m due in August with my ex’s baby and he was also on bail until recently due to DV (and other offences). At first when I found out I was pregnant I was still very forgiving and thought he should be involved. But now my mindset is, he may be the biological father but he needs to earn the responsibility of being this baby’s dad. And that means acting as a role model in all aspects of life including and MOST importantly respecting women. I won’t be putting him on the birth certificate and he won’t be at the birth. In fact, regardless of what I want social services won’t agree to him being anywhere near the baby even through a contact centre so that says a lot. Just remember, your ex can’t be an amazing father AND be capable of physically harming his child’s mother. Make him prove that he’s got some help and sorted himself before you let him be involved in any capacity. DM me if you need any support as I know what you’re going through ❤️

I wouldn't be putting on the birth certificate and that is said in a way of protecting you and the baby not to be horrible. He can have visitation if he is stable enough as a parent that's a seperate thing. I'm struggling to see how you think he is going to be a great dad when he clearly has anger issues and responds to that with such violence. I'd be applying to the court to extend the protection order to feel like I can give birth and heal in peace not be waiting to be dragged out my home. He definitely should not be at the birth or even in the hospital after what he has done to you. I'd ignore him and make him go through the correct channels to see his child in the safest and most supervised way.