Partner never initiates
My partner has a chronically low sex drive. He's been this way throughout the 5 years we've been together - he struggles with ED, I've forced him to go to the doctor to get checked out (it took 3 years for him to take it seriously enough to actually do that) and they came back saying there's nothing physically wrong. He's also not depressed or worried about things. We have a 17 month old and have only had sex maybe 3 times since she was born. For a really long time I thought maybe he just wasn't attracted to me. It's hard to feel like sex will never be a part of our relationship. I've thought about leaving but there's absolutely no way I can afford to - the cost of commuting to work and childcare are the same as my whole salary, there's no way I could afford to live anywhere else. He's a good partner generally, he always tidies the house up after I've put the little one down at night night, he's supportive and would never cheat but I just feel really low about the lack of sexual dynamic between us. I stopped initiating because his ED means that if I've ever tried to start something, he'll generally lose it very quickly or never get it to begin with, and it felt pretty crushing. He does have pills but it feels forced to have to plan in advance. I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of this, just need to vent as I can't really talk about this with anyone.
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I would try talking to him on how you feel and finding a way you both can work on this. Communicate ways to approach intimacy that work with how he is
Nothing wrong with the pills! But if the planning ahead kinda ruins the spontaneity of it all for you then you could use toys! If he knows how to use a toy to get you off, maybe you can reciprocate in other ways as well? It doesn’t have to be penetrative sex every time or even most of the time!
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I wouldn’t leave if you haven’t tried all solutions yet. It’s not like he wants to have ED ya know? It’s probably KILLING his ego right now and from what you said he seems like a good guy with a shitty problem. If the pills work, I would use them. A lot of people with young children have to schedule sexy time. You can make it feel less forced by scheduling a date night, not a sex night. Once a week or every other week hire a babysitter, give the baby to grandma etc, and go on a date night. Flirt. Laugh. Build the chemistry back up. He can go to the restroom before leaving wherever you are and take the pill. You also don’t have to always have penetrative sex. If you’re in the mood randomly at home but you don’t want to wait for the pill to work tell him to give you oral! Make out with him! Let him feel you up! All of these things come into play. Good luck!