Bored and tired
If I’m being honest I just came to vent cos idk what to do. So I have a 10 week old in the mornings I try to get in tummy time sometimes in the afternoon and also do stimulus cards Aswell I bath him 2 days a week but some days I just literally want to lay in bed all day even with him I just have no energy to do anything or just can’t really be bothered. I’m a gym girl even since before pregnancy now I go gym about once or twice a week…when I go my mum looks after him I don’t have this HUGE village . People say they’re there but like…it’ll be awkward to ask cos we don’t speak everyday maybe once or twice a month idk. I have my sister who watches him sometimes but she’s out often. I hate asking people for favours
To , before I had a baby I was so independent I hate the feeling of “dumping” my baby on someone. Even my mum. I’d love to go gym more but that would mean letting my mum watch him 3-4 x a week (me and my mum live together though ) however I have my own place I’m just not staying there atm. My baby seems abit more fussy now so I just feel it’s better I stay home …idk. And I’m barely eating enough anymore I don’t have an appetite like I used to going gym it’s probably pointless if I don’t enough anyways so that kinda kills my motivation to. I just kinda hate my life right now to be honest. I love my baby but I just sometimes miss my old life . Where I didn’t have to rely on people and could just up and leave to do what I need to do. I just hate it. I don’t feel like myself. I have a spa and massage booked next week and a holiday booked for June hopefully that does something but idk. I love him as a baby and don’t wanna wish the time away but I cant wait till he can start walking and running so we can actually have fun. I just hate being stuck at home. I go for walks with him but like I need some excited. I’m still young. 21. I just feel like my life is on pause and I’m just here. I read my books to him but usually I just scroll on my phone and my screen time is probably extremely high cos I’m just stuck in the house all day. Sometimes I can’t even be asked to shower I just have so little energy these days. I cba to even cook. Everything just seems long. And I hate hate hate asking people stuff as I said b4 I’m not used to it so asking my mum to always watch my baby makes me feel weird. Cos you never know what someone’s really thinking , could be thinking , “ugh I have to watch the baby again” like you never know.
Sorry to hear you're feeling rough. It's OK to not love every second of life with a baby and to mourn your previous life. It might be worth seeing a doctor or health visitor in case you have post partum depression if you're not feeling able to do anything and lack energy. Also talk to your mum and other family and friends you're close to about how you're feeling. It always helps to talk and if you're honest about struggling they might be able to help on other ways. Going to the gym a couple of times a week is definitely not a waste of time, you'll still see results and the exercise is really good for your mental health. Perhaps you can try some home exercises as well? It's still very early days, it sounds like you're doing a great job with little one and you will adjust to your new life. Do reach out for help if you think you need it though. I hope talking about it and getting it out there helps and you're feeling better soon. Just know you're not alone.