I’m a tradwife, ask me anything

How long have you been doing it ?

And what would you do if you learned your husband was cheating or if he lost his job or got unexpected sick and couldn't work ?

This is me also! And I never really saw myself as this type, but have fully embraced it and I love it (most days). Do you stay on top of all the chores every day? I know it’s not necessarily vital that I keep the house spotless every single day, but sometimes it’s hard for me to be present with my daughter if things are a mess or I know I have things to do like laundry. Does it become easier when they aren’t babies anymore? My daughter is only almost 4 months.

@Tiffany my husband wouldn’t cheat, I think that if you live your life with that thought in your mind you’d never be truly happy and it shows a lack of trust in your relationship. My worst case scenario is plenty of people’s reality and I’m fine with that. As for if he lost his job, my husband isn’t silly enough to not have a backup plan regarding his career, he is always striving to do bigger and better for our family. As for the unexpected sickness, we have savings that would support us through this :)

@Rachel it’s nice to see other women embracing this lifestyle. In all honesty I’m 7 weeks post c section so my husband has been taking care of most of the chores while I get back on my feet and navigate how to be a mum and a wife at the same time, which I’m extremely lucky for. It is difficult to get all chores done when baby is so young, our baby is 7 weeks old. There is days when I won’t get much done attal due to baby needing me. I definitely capitalise naptimes and make a priority list so when I have a few minutes I can get things done.

I'm not too familiar on a "true" traditional wife, but wouldn't the husband not even contribute to the household chores while recovering? Because that's "not a man's job"? Please don't take that in a judgmental way xx

@Annika a man’s job is to provide for the family and that means supporting his wife in whatever way is necessary at the time. My husband loves me and wouldn’t ever see me go without support or struggling. We support eachother indefinitely x

Oh that’s good! Congratulations, definitely rest and take it easy. I try to remind myself constantly that my baby is most important, the rest can wait and it will get done eventually. My husband was really helpful for the first month after I gave birth. There are days where I am so exhausted and he helps a little extra when he gets home.

@TiffanyLet’s be real… half the reason women get cheated on is ’cause they don’t know how to pick a man. Like, if you choose a real one, cheating wouldn’t even cross your mind. It’s giving poor taste, not bad luck

& girl good for you! Do whatever works for you! I also rather be in my feminine energy and stay at home!

What exactly is it? I feel like we are giving a “new” definition to stuff many people already do.

This post is bizarre to me, this is the lifestyle that women have been living for hundreds of years. Including my grandparents and great grandparents, there’s nothing new, interesting or exciting about it. I’m just glad that now women have the choice to live differently to this if they wish.

@Gemini absolutely love this! Real men don’t cheat. I don’t know why women waste time investing in shitty men and then complain when they cheat. Choose your spouse wisely and we will all be happy!

@Lisa why is it bizarre may I ask? Nobody said it is a “new lifestyle” I also believe that it is an aesthetic or quirky. You may not think it’s interesting or exciting, however I feel that for me I live an exciting, fulfilling and rewarding life because of the fact I and my husband adhere to traditional gender roles.

@ALI it literally just means the man and woman in the relationship adhere to traditional roles were the woman’s primary role is to cook, clean, nurture the children, look good for her husband and look after her husband and the man’s role is to go out and be the sole provider for the family.

@Lisa I’m not sure where you have got the impression that I think this is “new” when the word traditional literally means that something has been established for a long time.

Doing an ‘ask me anything’ implies you are doing something that people wouldn’t come across day to day, not something I could just go and ask my Nan about! 😂

So, do you take out trash? Mow the lawn?

@Lisa it doesn’t imply anything love. Read what I said and stick with that. If that’s the case just scroll on and don’t comment. It’s extremely simple. No idea what your problem is but you sound bitter about something🫣

@ALI course not. My husband does that. He doesn’t avoid every single chore. It’s a traditional lifestyle, not slavery

Again, this is why I appreciate you allowing people to ask questions. I have seen situations where the woman is required or expected to do everything and she classifies herself as a traditional wife. That’s why I asked you. I think others may have different definitions.

@ALI of course. It’s a lifestyle of give and take just in different areas of life. We have our set gender roles and we stick to them but we would never see eachother struggle. When I was recovering from my c section I didn’t lift a finger around the house but now that I’m back to normal we are back in our roles :))

How would you feel if your daughter (if you had one) wanted to go out and work and not be a traditional wife?

@Rachael I’d be perfectly happy with that. I don’t have anything against employed women! However I don’t have a daughter, only a son🥰

How would you feel if your son was a stay at home dad and his wife went out to work? (I’m genuinely curious, not trying to be rude)

@Rachael our son will be brought up as a provider for his family :)

What do you feel are the differences between a tradwife and a stay at home mum?

That’s not really answering the question though…and is a SAHD not considered a provider in a traditional sense? The emphasis is on providing in the financial sense?

@ALI no I don’t think stay at home dads are providers.

@Sorrel a tradwife isis a married woman who focuses on managing the home, caring for children and also focusing on the husband plays one of the biggest parts. It goes way beyond looking after the children. The traditional lifestyle focuses on gender roles for man and woman. For example, my husband is the provider and the leader of our family. He sorts out all bills, money, makes the final decision on things. A stay at home mum role focuses majorly on childcare and obviously chores that need to be done but the main focus is the childcare. The reason they do it is for reasons like, can’t afford childcare, want to be at home with the children etc. I am a tradwife because I admire the traditional lifestyle where men provide and lead and women submit to their husband, do domestic duties and nurture the children.

How old are you? Is your husband the same age? Can you give an example of when you’ve disagreed with your husband and had to submit? If you weren’t a wife or mother what job would you like to do? If you died would your husband be capable of looking after your kids and home? Or would he need to quickly remarry/ hire a nanny/ cleaner/ cook?

What led you to this lifestyle? Was it your own upbringing? Your religious background, etc.

I would love that lifestyle

Being a trad wife really isn't anything special I feel like. I could be defined as such but it's nothing crazy.

I think this is wonderful, do whatever makes one happy! But question because I see some comments about being feminine, feminine energy etc.? Is a woman masculine if she has a career and chooses to work? Is there a correlation between being a homemaker and femininity?

So your son wouldn’t be allowed to choose to stay at home while his wife went out to work? But if you had a daughter they would be free to choose? That’s really interesting. What if your son is gay?

@Tiffany that's why you marry men that 1.) believe in fidelity and don't cheat 2.) are financially responsible and save/invest money in case something happens. My husband is loyal and if he was off work we'd be financially ok for at least a year without any financial aid like disability.

@Sorrel I think you’re completely misunderstanding this entire thing. I’m unsure why mine or my husbands age matters. When I say submit to my husband, it’s very important that you understand that this is a lifestyle we have mutually agreed is what we both want. Me and my husband discuss decisions together but ultimately I like him to make the final decision. We’ve honestly never disagreed on anything big enough for me to remember to use for an example. If I wasn’t a wife or a mother I’d probably do something that involves creativity. My husband is absolutely more than capable of looking after our children, he’s a brilliant dad. Just because he is the provider this doesn’t mean he is an absent dad. As for the house he is also very much capable of housekeeping. As I stated above I’ve recently had a c section so my husband has taken on all roles around the house to allow me to recover (he did this out of his own choice and kindness)

@Rachael A man’s role is to lead, protect and provide for his family…. it’s about standing firm in his natural position of strength and responsibility. So why would a man choose to take on a role that’s meant to be nurturing, supportive, and emotionally driven when that’s not his divine design?! Gay or not… he’s still a man. Still expected to lead protect and handle business. Masculinity ain’t about who you sleep with it’s about how you show up. Don’t get it twisted

@ALI it all comes down to I’ve always been traditional at heart. Not from upbringing as I come from a family of divorced parents and both my parents work if anything my mother works a higher up job than my father. I met a man that I love more than anything and it came up in a discussion and we mutually decided that this was the life we wanted to live

@Gemini facts! I absolutely love this

@Rachael my son will be taught to lead. He will grow up seeing his dad provide for the family. I don’t know what type of man would choose to do a feminine role like stay at home , housekeep and nurture children while he allows his woman to go out of work but it’s certainly not the type of man me and my husband are raising. I don’t know what being gay has to do with anything but gay or not he’s still a man and will be expected to act as such.

@Pam I do certainly think there is a correlation between being a homemaker and femininity. However, I don’t necessarily think having a career as a woman makes you masculine (career dependent). I feel allowed to be in my feminine energy best when I’m at home, making sure my husband and children have a warm , clean, calm home to enjoy

@Gemini please don’t think I meant anything offensive I just meant that if there are 2 men in the house, who stays home with the kids? If they’re both meant to be out working and providing?

Totally understand your point of view- I have no issues with your lifestyle choices- I find them fascinating. If your son is gay, so there are 2 men in the house - who goes out to work and provides? Or do they both work and get a nanny for children?

@Rachael that wouldn’t be up to me :) I’m not here to control my children’s life. Once my son is an adult it’s up to him to make these choices. Although I’d love for our children to follow in our footsteps, I don’t expect my children to submit to this lifestyle as I understand it’s not for everyone.

@Rachael ! No worries girl, I get where you’re coming from! I totally get the question, and honestly, it’s just about what works for the family. If both men are out working, then they might choose to split responsibilities… one might stay home or they might hire help. It’s all about balance and figuring out what’s best for them.

It’s an AMA? Age is interesting because it can influence our choices and it can make certain behaviours seem more or less unusual. Submission is interesting because of the dynamic involved, I was curious what level of autonomy you have in your own life and home. Were you free to make decisions about your pregnancy for instance? What warrants a discussion and what doesn’t? Is there any point of discussion because ultimately his word goes? I’m sure people have challenging feelings sometimes. Job question because lots of women are wives & mothers & have other interests too, was curious about yours. Any plans for when the kids fly the nest? My final question was because men do often remarry (and much quicker than women) when their wives die. Someone I knows grandma (70s) was recently in hospital and her husband (same age) boiled his first ever egg. The house was upside down and she had to help him tidy it up. He’d never used the vacuum before. There are LOTS of men like this.

@Incognito idk about incognito but in my house we both have nice life insurance and plan for if anything happens… Why are y’all so negative? Why do you guys think about the worst thing that happen instead of the best?! Damn I would hate to be that kind of girl

@Sorrel I’m unsure what you mean by decisions about my pregnancy? If you mean to keep or not to keep I am pro life. My husband was at every appointment supporting me, he quit everything that I had to quit during the pregnancy to support me. Everything warrants a discussion because my husbands final decision is influenced by my opinion on whatever the situation. My plans for when my son leaves home would be to carry on as we did before (still the traditional lifestyle minus the childcare). That’s unfortunate that her husband was too incompetent in household tasks. Although as I stated my husband is very much capable of housekeeping and cooking. If I was no longer around then no m husband would not continue the lifestyle with someone else nor would he NEED anyone else to be able to live. He is very much capable. This is just the lifestyle we love.