What would you do?

Alright I need some advice on this one. My husband and I have been married almost 4 years, with 2 kids (almost 4 and 3 months). We’ve had a lot of ups and down in our relationship but recently we overcame a lot and decided to put the past behind us and basically just love each other the way we want to. So we’ve been on great terms. But the other day he came to me and told me he messed up… well immediately my heart sank but here’s what happened.. In October (which I was pregnant with my son) his ex added him on snap. Now he told me about this but he said he spoke to her to find out why she added him and then he blocked her right after. This happened while he was out at work, he’s a truck driver so he’s gone all week. I’ve never had a reason not to trust him even though around this time we were arguing a lot and having some issues. Well he ended up telling me he did not block her when he said he did in fact he had her unblocked the entire week he was out at work. So he just told me the other day that while she was unblocked, they talked basically catching up and even had a phone call. They started talking about how the dated at the wrong time and she said she still cares about him and misses him. She ended up sending basically nude photos and he responded implying he was into it. He said at this point he realized this isn’t what he wants and only cares about me and our family. But he waited until the end of the week to then block her finally and said he hasn’t talked to her since. I really don’t know how to process this I feel extremely betrayed especially knowing I would never do that to him or allow any guy to think I’m interested in them especially an ex I have history with. What would you do? If he didn’t tell me I would have never known and honestly sometimes I wish he didn’t because it’s really hurting me that he did that. I’ve been extremely insecure about my body after babies and it just has me thinking why does she get attention from him what makes her so much better? Has anyone dealt with anything like this from their partner and moved forward??

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Hey Sis, Basically it sounds like your husband betrayed your trust if nothing else. And moving on from that is totally in your court. If this something you can overcome. And if so are your wanting to go to counseling for it ? Trust is something that takes so long to build yet only a few moments to be broken. I am sorry you are going through this.

There’s definitely ways to rebuild trust but you’ll have to want to. It takes effort from both parties in order to move forward. You can look up moving forward after cheating and there are some great articles that go in length on how to do so. I recommend therapy as well, because broken trust can lead to more issues.

Honestly it would break my heart, it would break anyone’s. You’ve put a mad amount of trust forward and to have it betrayed like that is awful and I’m so sorry. Personally I’d question on why when his ex added him, he didn’t immediately just block, or if he added her back, why wouldn’t he say he’s got a beautiful wife and kids and he is happy with his life? That he doesn’t want to think of the what if’s because he has every thing he wants? Those are the questions I would put forward to him “why did you respond?” “Is there something you’re missing here?” Because no one just goes with stuff for no reason especially with an ex. He needs to lay it out for you what he wants, he needs to meet your expectations of him in future as well for it to work for example that ex and any other ex’s stay blocked. Doing that doesn’t change the whole thing though and it doesn’t change who someone truly is. It’s good he came forward about it, not many men do or would. But there’s something else going on

With him personally if he felt that way to respond to that and keep her added. Furthermore do you think he will or can change? If yes then I would advise couples therapy. If no then it’s not going to be able to move forward because you know what you know and if you stay in a relationship where you can’t build trust then you’ll end up resenting him and hating him and it’ll ultimately harm yourself more. If it was me I’d have left my partner personally. But everyone is different and your relationship is also different so I would think about what you want going forward, what you will need to move past it

Idk but I’d leave

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