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Hey, I have this friend well, maybe not anymore. We’ve known each other since 2017, but we really got close around 2021, after I moved to another country. She even visited me while I was pregnant, and actually, she was the first person I told because she happened to be there when I took the test. I felt like we had a real bond, so I opened up to her right away. But after she left and went back home, things changed. She barely checked in during my pregnancy, and when I gave birth, she never reached out at all. The only thing I can think of that might have upset her is a conversation we had. I told her honestly and maybe for the first time without sugarcoating that she needed to stop talking to her ex. He’s the reason she ended up in therapy, and I really believed she deserved so much better. We’d been talking about this guy for four years, and I just wanted to see her move on and find happiness. The thing is, after that conversation, she didn’t show any signs of being upset. She kept talking to me like usual, so I didn’t think much of it. But now, it’s been about two months since we last talked. I reached out, but her responses have been cold and distant. She also stopped reacting to any of my posts or stories, even though I still engage with hers. I don’t know what to make of it. Should I try again? Let it go? What would you do in my shoes?

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I find myself trying to hard to please others and try to keep friendships when others don't try at all. I realize it's time to find people that reach out and work on the friendship just as much as me. We deserve just as much as what we put in. 💗😊

@Cassidy sooo true!! I Reach out once but she just answered me with just one liner and not interested on my baby at all. So i was thinking if i reach out again i’ll look so desperate 😅

Just know you tried time and time again. The want for the friendship isn't being reciprocated. It will be no fault of yours. More caring friends are out there waiting. 💓

Good friends are hard to come by and with you being in another country maybe it could be something else so instead of speculating, why not just ask her bc you guys are friends right? We’re all adults and maybe she is going through something that has nothing to do with you. Just ask her and tell her that you feel like there has been a shift in the friendship and ask if there was something that you did or some way that you made her feel. All relationships take work. Now having said that, if she just says nothing and plays it’s off then leave it alone. Reach out if you want to but don’t be upset if it’s not reciprocated the way you want.

Does she have kids or want to have kids?

@Chelsii i’ll think about it, because I can see her posting a lot but doesn’t interact to me like she used to. I can just feel there’s something off. But she won’t tell me last time I reached out to her asking how’s everything about her. Not interested and one liner response I got instead.

@Chelsii she’s single and we’ve been talking about exes and the same guys for years! I was heavily pregnant and she’s venting out about the same problems but won’t listen to my advice. She also not even once ask me how’s my pregnancy going. It’s like when we talk it’s about her boy problems 😭

I understand but that’s why I’m saying to be direct and just ask her. “Hey girl, I noticed it seems you’ve been a bit distant is everything ok? We haven’t been talking like we use to and I feel like when I reach out you give me one word responses. Did I do something wrong or do something to offend you. I value your friendship but I just feel like you’ve been distant. Let’s talk about it.” Either she plays it off like it’s nothing or she woman’s up and tells you what’s going on. And don’t ever feel like bc you’re reaching out to someone you value as a friend is you being desperate. We are all adults and sometimes you just wanna know what’s going on.

@Chelsii thank you! I’ll try this 🩷

I’ve been her. And I did this to my bestfriend too. It’s because I got back with him and felt judged and felt kind of ashamed that I’d vented all these problems to her and then went back. I didn’t feel like she supported my decisions even though it’s what I’d decided I wanted to do. And I distanced myself because I didn’t want her judgement. Maybe you could just let her know you have her back x

@Sera Kay ✨ I get it. I’ve been there with her when they broke up and the guy was abusive and didn’t treat her well. Through the years I’ve been listening to her and understanding why she can’t moved on. But one time she was panicking because she messaged the guy and told him how she feels so the guy obviously loves that he can keep her on the loop. But not actually wanting her back. And then she messaged me and venting out about it. When I always tell her to have self control and let him go, And that she will find love someday. So i went no filter and told her bluntly and maybe she was not used to it because I was always sweet and trying not to tell her the reality. I just feel like she took that as an offense and not because I cared about her. ( tho she didn’t say anything about it) But also at that time I was about to Pop and I had so much in mind to give birth to a baby. 😔

It may be this, it may not be this. I’m just coming from personal experience. My bestfriend had opinions and comments for days so when I decided to make my relationship work I knew she was gonna judge the fuck out of me. All she had to do was say “really, sera?” And that was enough for me to feel so much guilt and shame and feel sooooo unsupported by her. We haven’t spoken in years now. I know it’s shitty on my end also, but there were other issues in our friendship and not just this so. Maybe you could just let her know you support her no matter what she chooses to do in life. If she responds well to this then I’d say that’s what it was. Otherwise you’ll have to find out from her what went wrong. Goodluck xx

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