What is this? Feeling jealous? Long story (Oops)
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@Selena right that could make sense! My sister recently had her second last month and I’m glad it gives me less pressure from my side of the family (my mom is very toxic, and hasn’t been as supportive as my bd’s mom shockingly but I’m grateful!) Maybe it’s because we brought in the first girl on both sides and his side is mainly all boys so maybe it’s a fear that my daughter wouldn’t be as special as she has been if she’s ends up with a girl? I’m definitely going to talk about this in my therapy session today!
@Maddie Yeah, your baby is only four months old. I probably wouldn’t love the timing either. But ultimately, this is a good thing. They may turn out to be like cousin besties, in the same grade and everything. ❤️
Maybe you feel jealous because you say things like "she deserves more to be a mom than me"... Why do you think you deserve less to be a mom? Why do you feel the need to compare ? Hope it helps
Girl I completely understand how you feel because when I told my in-laws that I was pregnant everyone was so happy & excited but fast forward to 2 months later & a fight broke out between the family because my MIL had suspicions that my SIL was pregnant & she refused to take a pregnancy test knowing she had to if she was living under my MIL roof. So anyways we moved out of there April 5th & about 2-3 weeks later my man tells me that his sister is pregnant too & that she was only a few weeks. By that time I was already 3 months pregnant so the gap of time clearly shows that she had planned it & idk if her intention was to take the spotlight off of me but she surely succeeded with it because everyone started treating me like shit throughout my entire pregnancy. My man even took it as far as to try & clean out her & her boyfriends room in the backyard because they are disgusting & would leave dirty plates in there for weeks & wouldn’t clean up & got mad at me when I said he shouldn’t be.
The hardest part of my pregnancy was seeing how everyone treated me so poorly even though I was further into my pregnancy that she was & I always got the worst end of it. They expected me to be all butterflies & rainbows with it because my man already had a child previous to our pregnancy so they must’ve assumed I would be fine because I was already raising a child, but that was my FIRST pregnancy. My first time feeling life inside of me & carrying it for a full term. The amount of neglect I received all because my SIL decided to get pregnant 3 months after I did is what hurt me the most. I can’t even sit here & say she deserved to be a mom & enjoy being spoiled because not her or her boyfriend made an effort to get a job for the sake of the baby, even BEFORE the pregnancy they were just a couple bums laying around the house all day doing nothing. Still are & now they have 2 kids & don’t have any plans of giving them a better future.
Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all humans truly not even meant to keep as many people under our radar as most do (with social media). Ontop of you are newly postpartum maybe part of you is reminiscing on your pregnancy journey and what’s lead you up to now. In my mind now it’s your turn to get married!! 💗
I'm feeling the same way. In my case, it's my sister, and the jealousy is because I won't be the only 1 with a baby. I'm concerned my parents will favour her baby, she has her life together (bought a house, adopted a puppy, got engaged and then got pregnant. All in 1 year), she announced her pregnancy better, doesn't have to hide her pregnancy, and my parents aren't harassing her (that I'm aware of). I have regrets from announcements to visitors to photo shoots, to my shower, etc she is starting fresh and may not have regrets. She may get the birth I wanted (my cousin had her baby in January and got the birth I wanted) I'm so, SO excited for my sister and her fiance and so damn excited to meet my niece/nephew. I've wanted this for a long time, but I'm also a bit jealous. Also, my son is 3, and they are going to have a squishy newborn. Your feelings are normal and valid. Feel them, work through them, but don't let them seep into your relationship with your SIL or your beautiful nibbling 🙂
If it helps at all- my bd’s SIL and brother were saying they didn’t know when they’d try for another baby (their son was 5 at the time) & that they were comfortable with it being the 3 of them for now. All when we were talking to them about my pregnancy, I was maybe 4 months pregnant? With my first child- mind you. & then fast forward months later, they announce they’re having a second. So my sons cousin was born 6 months after him and I’m sure it was to have him be close in age and raise them as “brothers”. But I felt the jealousy too. Bc then I wasn’t the “only” pregnant one. And since she was married to the brother and has been a part of the family for years, I’m just like the Hispanic lone wolf. It was bad lol I was so PO’d. Bc it was my first pregnancy & you couldn’t even let me have THAT. so I had to be happy for her all while trying to make myself feel special & important too. She gave them another grandchild & our child is out of wedlock. So fun fun 🙃 There’s sm I could say
@Selena oh for sure, my sister got pregnant with her second in the middle of my first pregnancy. I didn’t really think much about it because it was my sister and she lives in town and we would be able to enjoy pregnancy at the same time. But this relative is different. She doesn’t live close at all. She lives long-distance. So it would be a bit different. I think I’m just nervous that it might be a girl so that would mean that my daughter will no longer be the first girl on both sides because my sister ended up pregnant with a girl 🙃
@Aurélie I think I feel like I deserve less to be a mom because I got pregnant out of wedlock and I don’t really love my bd. And now it’s not postpartum hormones is making me say that like I hated him before I got pregnant. I was really about to leave him but the week I was gonna leave him I found out we were pregnant. So I had to stick with him because I am very codependent and I don’t have a good family, that’s very supportive. They’re pretty toxic and mean towards me…
@Joselyn Banuelos oh my gosh I’m so sorry all that happened! That really really really really really sucks! I hope it gets better somehow or someway!
@SiSi right I just think that way, but I’m honestly terrified of marriage. I don’t wanna marry him. He kind of sucks partner wise but as a dad, he’s great to our daughter. And that’s all I could really ask for. I have never really wanted to be bride ever since my ex fiancé left me 3 months before our wedding date 😭
@Hannah definitely feeling all the feelings. I’m trying to work through them, but also not trying to show them too much. Really struggling right now specially on top of postpartum reminiscing on the what could’ve been would’ve had if my ex didn’t leave me three months before our wedding date. I’m sorry you’re feeling all the feelings too. Your feelings are completely valid too! I’m here if you wanna talk 🫶🏻
@Stephanie oh my! I’m so sorry that your bd’s SIL couldn’t let you have your first pregnancy just for yourself! That’s really the worst and IMO a tad hypocritical/petty. I know you can’t control when you get pregnant, but sometimes you can… that’s just IMO. My baby daddy is talking about having 2 under 2 and I’m just sitting here thinking like…. “Yeah… But I don’t love you enough or feel like that. We would work out long-term enough for that to work out….”
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@Maddie, I'm sending love your way. It's so hard ❤️
Because you’re not the only one with a baby now. There’s a newer baby coming. You’re about to lose the spotlight. You felt more comfortable in the dynamic when you had what you wanted and she wanted what you have. Maybe those are some reasons. Feelings have a mind of their own. It’s better to face them than to repress and not be in control of how you react.