Fiancé keeps making it a competition
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Sorry I accidentally pressed he does. But it should never be a competition between you too. Both of you have your own struggles. I’d be sad being a sahm just because my partner loves our daughter so much and he would be sad he isn’t spending as much time with her as I am so that would make me sad as well. Does that make sense? But you both have your struggles. Unfortunately as mothers we have to take more on than dads even if we are working because they’re lazy 🤷🏽♀️ what he’s doing is wrong and personally if this was my situation I’d make a list of everything I do with a timeline for a week and show how much I’m not relaxing and not jsut doing nothing
Ask him to do it all for 24 hours, including the breastfeeding. See what he says then
ask him to buy the formula, cook, clean, laundry, baby appointments. I honestly would just focus on the baby and you if he can’t appreciate what you do. my husband tried it like yours is and he learned real quick women are the load bearing force in the house because no matter what we still have to do house hold chores if we work or not. So scale back and don’t don’t wash his clothes, don’t cook for him he’ll see
Cut the competition out of your relationship asap it's not 50/50 it's everyone doing their very best and appreciating their spouse as much as possible you are on the same team competing is childish he can never ever repay the debt of you sacrificing your body to make family and you can never repay the debt of him providing neither of you could ever replace each other the sooner y'all learn to just do your best and be grateful for the years you get together the happier you'll be you're on the same team there's no need to compete
He 10000% should zip the lip about the competition. I’ll be very honest with you though, working life and being a parent- NOTHING could prepare me for how full on that was going to be when i returned to work. When my baby was younger it was definitely hard/full on don’t get me wrong, but i could afford to slow the pace on days i felt wiped out or cuddle with the baby for an extra hour in the morning before we got the day started. When you are working you are marching to the beat of work and being on time and people demanding things from you, you then return home to a child and partner who needs attention.. sometimes after i out my toddler to bed i sit there staring at the ceiling like 😳🫣 so i understand he is out of line for making it a comp- that is totally unfair but i would also spare some compassion that he may be completely run into the ground. Working full time and being a patent is brutal. The first year(s) are hard no question.
@Marie i appreciate your perspective, maybe i am very lucky this way but my experience is totally different. My husband pulls more than his weight. Someone said to me a marriage/partnership is not about 50/50 it may well be 90/10 one day or 70/30 as long as you get what you need to feel appreciated, rested and valued it shouldn’t matter who does more! It works for me but my husband has a great attitude so i dunno maybe my experience is uncommon…
@Kate True every situation is different but someone doesn’t appreciate what you do until you stop doing it
Yet my youngest sons dad who has 3 kids under 4 including our son says that going to work is a break and it’s much easier than looking after the kids all the time 🤷♀️ he has no clue what he’s talking about. Tell him you’ll go to work and he can be at home with the baby I guarantee he wouldn’t last
Wow. I'm speechless. He sounds like a total jackass. I'm very sorry you have to deal with that ignorant men