If you were considering another baby but a key grandparent was no longer able to help, would you still have another?

I have no help from grandparents at all so I guess I'd just figure out a different way if I wanted more kids

I wouldn’t have no extras if I feel I’m having to depend on others beside the father. It’s not smart or logical at all.

I wouldn't have kids at all if I had to depend on in-laws/parents all the time.

Having kids without the village is not something we do, for most of us in our culture, either u move to the grandparents or they move to you… or if u work abroad they come to you briefly and then you have a maid if u can afford it. Its very rarely just the mum and dad with kids (it was a bit when our parents were new immigrants, but they would often have a sibling or other older lady help even if briefly here n there, my mum did do a lot of it alone with me, but more help from her nearby sisters when she had my sister)

Only you can decide what a third child would look like in terms of your lifestyle and how you would manage with less support. There's no shame in having and relying on a village, I'd bet most people who don't have that support (which includes me) wouldn't say no to extra help if it was offered/available nearby, the comments so far are a bit unnecessary! You've said your youngest is 4 months, I'd wait and see what life looks like as things change and you all adjust before making big decisions about whether or not to expand the family.

For me, 100%, my kids are my responsibility at the end of the day. My parents had three kids with zero help from anyone. They moved away from both of their families in order to be together happily. We are all successful adults now so they did a great job. If you truly don’t think you can do it more on your own, then don’t have a third. I would not have been okay if I didn’t have my third, my heart and mind would have always thought “what if?”. It’s hard some days but I’m so thankful I had her and can’t imagine my life without her.

It's up to you to decide if you could do it all with no help. I've never had any help and had three, it's definitely doable but obviously your situation is different as you've had help previously and will get less now. Only you can decide! x

I have no help at all.

It is totally up to you, your spouse and your situation. Everyone’s situations are different. If the question is, is it possible, of course, because millions of mamas and families exist and thrive without support. I am sort of in this predicament as I have 2 and both my husband and I work full time. My mom watches our youngest on Monday’s and has since she was born until she starts preschool in a couple months. She did the same for our 1st. But with a 3rd, she is not able to and childcare is a big question for us and an unknown. However, our hearts and desires want a third and we decided to proceed and figure out the rest as time goes and I feel peace in that decision.

If you can't do it on your own, as a woman, you shouldn't have more. If every other person who is support to you were to disappear tomorrow, would you be unable to care for your children?

@Monét i find that a weird extreme to abide to, lots of single mothers do it because they have to, doesn’t mean they’re coping well, its a struggle. And widowers get by too. But when u plan how many kids u gna have, do u only plan how many u can manage on ur own, in the extreme eventuality that u will end up totally alone with absolutely no one?

@Paige hopefully maybe ur eldest is old enough and independent enough by the time ur 3rd comes along? That was one other reason against a 3rd child for us- i was nearly 6 years older than my sister and as my father wasnt helpful, i took it on myself to parent my sister and i dont want my son to end up having to parent his siblings (he already wants to help and talks about protecting his lil bro at age 3.5 🥹)

@Audrey how much sleep do you get 😅 do you mind if i ask how much 1:1 time u get with each child please? tbh with 2 kids we already got way less help than when we had just 1 as my mum stayed in our house for 3 months so there were 4 adults to 1 newborn when we had our eldest, but my 2nd baby was a lot easier newborn than my eldest and we know what we need to do 2nd time round. I think tbh, my SO just needs to accept a messy cluttered house if we were to have a 3rd 😅

My oldest two are teenagers so they sleep very well 😂, the baby is making me sleep deprived! There is a big gap. My youngest is only three months old but we do make time for 1:1 at home with the others every day. As she gets older it will get easier on me (she's breastfed so it's harder to leave her) and I'll be able to go back to doing a lot more with the older two!

Yeah you kind of proved the point I was trying to make. I'm a single mom myself lol. It's definitely gotten easier in the last few years, but I have a lot of support that some people don't have. If I knew how it was gonna go, I would've planned differently 100%. So yes in the future, my decision to have more children will be if I know that if anything were to happen to my partner/husband/family, I can still be okay. My daughters dad's mom told me while I was pregnant "at the end of the day, this is YOUR baby" And it's true 🤷🏾‍♀️ no one will ever be held as responsible as you will be

I’m actually not too worried about the sibling dynamics, I will not put any responsibility on my oldest. She helps now in a cute way and I always remind her she doesn’t have to do anything. (I am one of 3 and we are all 5 years a part so my younger sibling is 10 years younger than my older and we never felt that responsibility. Both of my parents parented). It’s mostly for us the childcare for the few days that are question marks for us but my husband is as involved as I am and I’m really successful in my job which is flexible so I know it’ll all work out but still nerve wracking to not have the answers right now haha