Husband lied about something stupid

I wouldn’t be happy at the ease to lie constantly what else does he hide

@Em exactly. He's said before oh I didn't get home til midnight last night I'm so tired - and I've pulled him up saying I heard you come home at 10pm I wasn't actually asleep?

Definitely not overreacting. My mind would wonder what is he doing… cuz why lie if it’s not something bad… the way I would be looking at pay stubs and doing math to see how many times his hours didn’t match up… And he should be helping you with the chores… it’s his house too…that alone is enough to piss me off but that with the lying i would also be going through his phone too…

I think I'm just feeling pissed because I do all the hard stuff around the house, he never cooks for us, picks up the hoover etc, and says oh well I'm working hard at my job, it's like an excuse to not help at home so it's easier just to pretend you're working a long day than actually admit he only works a few hours and could easily help out more

@Lyss exactly, he said oh I didn't do anything deliberately deceitful, it was just a coffee, I'm like yeah exactly so why would you not just say that?? Did he think I was going to be mad that he got sent home even earlier from work? It's just weird to me and do unnecessary

*so

I don’t think you’re overreacting. This would definitely piss me off. I’d set some firm boundaries and say you don’t tolerate lying and won’t date a liar. You should have help at home, he should be picking up his mess. Personally if my partner did this I’d feel like he just wouldn’t want to be around me or doesn’t want to have any responsibility at home. Start asking him to come home and help you out. I also think it’s unreasonable for him to have to go out and do this every day. It’s clear he’s prioritising his needs over yours and your family. I wouldn’t be putting up with that. Have you asked him why he has lied?

And not to mention he gets go get coffee and golf… when was the last time you were able to come home at your leisure? The double standards is gross

@Dionne I asked him and he said firstly he didn't know why he lied, then said he didn't want me thinking he was taking the piss by getting away early and fannying about getting a coffee. So he knows himself that he has got it good and doesn't want to admit that to me! I honestly just feel like a total mug over a stupid lie. I ask for help around the house and he says he does plenty, the house doesn't need to be perfect etc, which is true, but he would let it turn into a shit hole if I didn't keep on top of it! Honestly I feel so petty now that I don't even want to make him any dinners ( l batch cook and freeze), I'm going to label everything with our son's name so he doesn't touch it

@Lyss thank you. I sometimes feel like I've had the wool pulled over my eyes, he makes it seem like I'm expecting too much but I'm really not

It seems to me. That he is exaggerating how much he is working, the long hours the “I’m so tired” to compensate for the fact that he needs his breaks more and that because he “works” so much he doesn’t have to do much at home because he’s so “tired”. Well that’s BS. Coz he’s obviously not working as much as he says he is coz you’ve called him out and busted him, more than once. You’re a hard worker, great. When you’re there and actually working. We can agree on that. But don’t say you came in at midnight and lie about it, when you obviously came in at 10pm lol. Exaggerating at its finest 🙄 I would tell him. I appreciate how much you work for us to provide, how hard you work for us. But why you blatantly lying about the hours you do work? If you get off at 2 then say you got off at 2. You can have the couple hrs after work at golf if you wanted a break. But why lie for? It’s unnecessary.

Hm weird though. Surely just asking you first is common sense “hey I’m off early would it be okay if I go to golf” and if you said you needed help he has to suck it up. He’s an adult. Thing is he probably doesn’t want to hear a no. But he needs to. Both of you are in it together and the thing is if you spend more time at home then you’re allowed to want as clean and tidy of a home as you want. He should be supportive of your needs and don’t cook him dinner. Tell him he knows where the fridge is, he knows where the stuff to cook with is, he can 100% minimal cook his own food. You work hard enough as it is. Maybe that way he will learn to respect how hard you do work and appreciate the things you do

@Kellie yes this is it exactly!! I really do appreciate him going to work and contributing money wise for our family but exaggerating how tired he must be is just so unnecessary and a blatant lie. I feel so upset and I wish I didn't!!

@Dionne I think you're absolutely right. The hard thing is he thinks he does loads and if I ask for help he says it doesn't need done blah blah anything to make it seem that I'm being over the top when I'm just looking for the bare minimum around the house

You are not overreacting. A lie is a lie, white or otherwise. Now, does this happen often, or could it be that he forgot to text you that he finished and decided to say "Oh I'm finishing now" after you asked?