Am I overthinking? Regarding boundaries towards bedtime conflict
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I 100% agree with Isobel. It's fine to move bedtimes sometimes but during someone's wedding where she might kick off probably isn't the place. Let her go with grandma and have a good night!
It sounds like you've come up with the perfect compromise, baby can be involved, seen by family, in pictures etc then you and bf get a nice night out and babys routine isnt messed up. Sounds like a great plan!
Thank you all for your reassurance! I know that changing bedtime routines is completely fine since we don’t mind adjusting our LOs schedule/bedtime routine when it’s Friday and Saturday, But since they’re getting married on a Sunday, and we (me and my boyfriend) have work the next morning. We kinda need to have her on schedule/sleeping through the night
You're not wrong at all! Overtired babies and toddlers are arseholes, so no wonder you want to avoid that where you can! Plus yeah, you wanna enjoy yourself for once without having to parent! I'm going to a friends evening wedding ceremony this year, and even if she did invite my baby I'd have still got my parents to babysit 😅
Personally I’d throw all routine out the window for a wedding. You say it’s not family, but it’s your boyfriend’s brother and therefore your daughter is their family. Yeah it’s a pain and you might have to deal with an aggy kid, but I think if it’s important to him for her to be there and meet family it should also be important to you.
@Sarah right, I see that point too! However I’m just trying to be respectful of the bride and groom, also personally/selfishly, I wouldn’t want to have to miss the ceremony either cause our LO is screaming or getting too fussy and disruptive. Sometimes she’s too inconsolable. She doesn’t want me and would rather want dada and since my boyfriend is going to be up there as a groomsman, that’s kind of hard to do. I really just wanna be respectful from one (almost) bride (myself) to one bride (the SIL). I was talking to my boyfriend‘s mom last night on FT and she was so very grateful and appreciated my thought process that I went ahead and thought about that and got care for our LO during those times! His mom also said if we would like we could just show up early to Photos and whoever wants to meet our little one can come early. She already cleared that with the bride literally this afternoon!
@Rebecca right! Especially she’s teething really hard rn. And when she’s really overtired and or teething hard she wants dada and that’s going to be hard to do since he’s a groomsmen. Really just wanting to be respectful towards the bride and groom. Also, this could be a little selfish too, but I don’t wanna miss the ceremony if my LO is having a fussy/teething fit.
You’re not overthinking at all. I’d send her with grandma and you have a good night with your boyfriend. There’s literally nothing worse than attending a wedding with a baby/toddler as you can’t relax. My LO (nearly 2YO at the time) was a pageboy for my brothers wedding and he was in a foul mood all day (just having an off day) so my husband spent the day dealing with kick offs and didn’t see any of the ceremony or speeches as he had to take our little one outside. I couldn’t help as I was best woman so was needed with the bride and groom. My husband was exhausted 🙈
@Maddie nice! My husband was best man for our best friends and honestly I was dreading it, as he is a massive daddy’s boy too. But he was actually totally fine! I sat at the edge so could nip out if need be, but he was just fascinated with what Daddy was doing. I did have to miss the speeches during dinner as he get a bit grizzly, but I’d heard it so many times already I didn’t care 😂
Honestly I'd say it's completely your decision! I've taken my little boys to two weddings where my husband has been the best man and when you're the sole person looking after your baby on a day where the schedule is out of the window it is hard work and you can't really enjoy yourself! I actually missed both ceremonies because my son started getting fussy before they began and I didn't want him to ruin the ceremony for the couples! Both times I also took him home after the meal and missed the whole evening. I personally was ok with it because I decided to do it but I can also see why you wouldn't want to 😅
Your solution of bringing her to pictures but sending her home afterwards while you enjoy yourself truly sounds like a win for everyone involved. There will be other events that she has more fun attending in the future as she gets older.
I had my 2.5yr old at my brothers wedding in December and it was shit 😂 he was completely out of routine, irritable, tantrums, my husband didn't even attend the ceremony because the only option was to take him out so he didn't disturb the entire event, we never let him watch YouTube but he watched through the meal on my phone just so I could sit long enough to hear a couple of speeches and inhale my food. I felt like I might as well have not been there tbh. You have 100% made the right decision.
@Maddie I am totally with you on this! It's easy for relatives to say "they'll be fine" when you know that WILL NOT be the case 🙄. I think your suggestion is best, go for photos etc at 3pm, as this will be nice for everyone, then your mum picks up later which means u get to enjoy the rest of your evening childfree. You absolutely are entitled to a relaxing evening!
I don’t see the problem, don’t sound like your overthinking, sounds like you’re just thinking. Bedtime routines are very important and babies gone give you problems if you interfere with their routines!
No I don’t think you’re in the wrong. Yes babies can have different routines for special occasions but when the ceremony is in the evening, there’s no point changing their routine for that. No one will want a grumpy or crying baby during their ceremony so I think your plan is really considerate. People will be able to meet your baby beforehand and then you and your partner can have a fun evening together