in April 2025 Babies 🇺🇸

Just want to vent

Y’all I’m over my family’s unsolicited advice on how to raise my son and feeling like I have to explain how I’m raising him time and time again. My son is only 5 weeks and my mom and Nana will not stop saying I need to let my baby cry and not hold him so much. I’ve explained again and again that we are not doing the cry it out method and why we aren’t. But last night my mom sent me a text saying she didn’t want to overstep then proceeded to tell me that I need to let him cry it out because he can’t be held all the time and in the future when he’s watched by a babysitter while my husband and I are at work that it’s not reasonable to ask her to hold him all the time. She also brought up the when I was raising you and your sisters I did that and that he’s crying because he knows if he does we will hold him. It just frustrates me because I’ve already explained why we aren’t doing cio but the moment I explain that he won’t let us put him down it’s like an open door to give me advice and essentially tell me I’m doing it wrong. I hate the narrative that my tiny baby is manipulating us when he really is just asking for comfort. I do get burned out on having to hold him but until he’s old enough to not want our comfort all the time I refuse to let him bawl his eyes out. Then I state my boundaries in the subject and my mom gets butthurt and is rude telling me good luck. Idk what I’m hoping to get out of this post I’m just beyond frustrated. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the situation?

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I went through the exact same thing with my family and my child's father's family when I had my son. I remember the frustration i felt and quickly learned that they weren't going to understand my perspective or respect my choice with my baby so I simply quit explaining myself. And just simply told them that this is my choice with my child. Eventually everyone left it alone when they realized I wasn't budging on that boundary....Good luck!

I’m in the same boat. It’s so frustrating. I also don’t explain myself anymore and just continue to comfort my baby. Let them say what they will and just nod and smile. My dad “defended” me one day with a “she’s just a first time mom she’s gonna do everything for that boy” and while it was semi backhanded I just let it be and they seemed to quiet down for the day. There is nothing inconvenient about comforting my baby. If anything, the other things in my life are inconveniencing my ability to be there for him all the time😩

One option is to just ignore them, or only acknowledge with "ok" and do what you want. I would respond by sending articles from experts stating that newborns can't be "spoiled" and it's actually healthy to hold and comfort them. Popular advice from the discredited Dr. Sears to older generations is probably why so many of their children have anxiety issues now 🙄 I believe in CIO for sleep training if necessary, but doing it appropriately doesn't mean just ignoring them and letting them cry indefinitely.

“That’s interesting but I’m not interested in advice” has been my go to. It shocks them enough to be quiet but isn’t rude and usually they bug off. I got it from ‘ love on the spectrum ’ and I don’t think I’ll ever give it up lmao

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