I feel you, it’s so easy to feel as though you have to please others when it comes to babies. You could talk to your other half about wanting to protect your recovery for the first few days / weeks post birth. And if you are wanting to allow your parents to visit first, I say that’s easily justified as their priority is you - and looking after you (usually) whereas in-laws usually just want to see the baby. You’ll never get that time back! And it’s completely your choice x
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With my first I didn't have any visitors for about 3 weeks and it was pure bliss! It also gave me time to get into a somewhat routine with my newborn and also get past the baby blues. It was amazing just having my partner and baby for bonding until we felt ready! You shouldn't feel pressured into having visitors if you're not ready for it. It's different for everyone. X
I spoke to my husband a lot of times about this. He’s had a hard time setting boundaries with his mum. I’ll keep talking to him, to help him have the conversation with her and to understand it’s the three of us that matter.
But what about upsetting you? Your partner needs to have the conversations regardless of how scared he is, because this time he should be protecting your peace. My last baby was the first one I didn't fold and meet anyone for a week, I was so refreshed and we all bonded better. The mum should know how tiring post birth is! It's not show and tell, they can wait lol