Postpartum night doula?

Let me just say this: you're not failing as a mother because you ask for help. Asking for help is absolutely a strength. Don't forget that. Your concerns are valid.

A night doula doesn't have to be long term thing it could just be for a few nights while you catch up on some sleep they don't just help with baby they do washing clean the house while you sleep and then do feedings such as you pump in bed leave the bottle by the door and then they will feed that to the baby Can I ask when you say safety what is your biggest concern around safety and your newborn

@Charlotte sounds so useful and thanks for the great points! Safety I meant would they care my newborn well like gentle with him, ensure bottles are cleaned and made properly, no outside medications administered etc… my mom anxiety goes on and on 🤯

@Niki thank you so much for your kind validation! I wish we have family who could help out but we don’t 😔

We just had a postpartum doula and it was a good experience! I’m commenting now to come back later as I have to run and get a few things done while baby naps! I’ll be back to share details when I’m nursing her again lol

@GMF sweet! Please do so can’t wait to hear about your experience

Incognito yes mum anxiety is Soo hard you could interview a few and just gage how they are with the baby even get them to hold the baby for say a few minutes or even just 1 minuite and see how they are with them. Even if you explain your worries and see how they respond to that aswell can be a good indication of if you will gel I actually watched a video of a night doula and she did her whole routine on what she's does as a night doula part of her routine was washing up baby bottles but of course not every doula is that same But if you do choose to hire 1 you can even write a list of stuff you want done

It was my husband’s idea to get the doula as well since my first was such a challenging sleeper! We went through the hospital where I delivered so I felt confident in their background checks although I totally get it’s a weird thing to have someone in your house taking care of your baby. I did have the monitor set up in the nursery (baby usually sleeps in our room of course but we had her in the nursery with the doula) and let the doula know, although it is centered on the crib so it’s not like it was constantly like oh you’re on camera since she would be in the recliner most of the time out of view. But I could still check on baby without going in there. If you have a local parents group can you get some personal recommendations for doulas maybe? The cost is definitely super expensive. We planned for this in advance so we did add more funds to our FSA for this year. Not sure if you have one but doula expenses are eligible just fyi. We only had ours come a maximum of two nights/wk

So since it wasn’t nightly obviously they helped keep the cost more manageable. The really nice thing for me was that the doula can do other kid related tasks! So when I would pump overnight I’d leave the parts downstairs and she’d wash them and load the bottle sterilizer. And she’d wash all the bottles baby would drink. If I had kid laundry she would do it (mostly I’d just have her fold). We went on a trip and I laid out the stuff for both of my kids and she packed both their bags. Another thing though is that even if you had an “easy” baby, this is a HUGE adjustment for any relationship. The vast majority of couples will argue more during this time. It’s a phase and it will get better.

I have not hired one yet but I have contemplated it as I am planning to go back to work soon. don’t know how you feel about doulas in general but it is honestly like having a doula in the hospital (aka someone to support you & look out for your best interest) but they are in your home. I met with a postpartum doula and if we decide to get a night one. I definitely would choose her. I liked her energy, her reasoning for becoming a doula & just the idea of being able to rest uninterrupted sounds amazing lol the one I met with was like “my job is to ensure u get as much rest as u can so if you are a pumper and need to pump in the middle of the night…do that and then put the parts and the milk outside of your door and I would handle it” we stay in a townhome so that was the selling point for me. She also mentioned that if there were tips and tricks that she did…she would record herself doing it so we could do it ourselves.

Definitely secure one through an agency or organization because then atleast they are vetted. I definitely get the anxiousness though and 100% valid that! If you can financially afford it…i say do it! And it doesn’t have to be 7 days a week! You set up a schedule or the frequency. If you just need 2 days do it! Heck even if it is 1 day! (Unless they have a minimum). But just know u aren’t alone and it is great if you do get the support cause we deserve it!!!!

Postpartum doula here: we care for your baby the way you would for your child. Some parents have cameras (which I never have a problem with). You can go through an agency who has vetted their doulas too. We take our work very seriously and we don’t just come and help. Most of us are also CPR and first aid certified. We also teach parents what they can do to help their baby sleep better short and long term and we help with so much more. I also personally keep a very detailed log of what happens during the night (feeding timed, how long, diaper changes etc…) and many doulas I know do the same. When you find the right one, it’s a worthy investment.