Advice

I finally told my partner I want to spend time with him more like old times, We used to watch TV, play board games, did tv trivia, but now all he do is go to work, go to the gym & play video games he says I always find something to complain about & we are two different people I get that, but if I'm down stairs watching TV & he upstairs playing the game I feel as though that should be us time. He says I can go upstairs & watch him play the game & we can talk but I would rather do something with him. Am I asking for too much ? Or do I need to compromise?
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My husband did this, there were some reasons.... would he be willing to have a serious discussion to find out what is happening and both of you get your needs out? For me... Turns out, the things we did before was "what people do stuff the start of relationships" and I tried to explain it isn't, it was who I was before him and I thought he was the same because he did those things with me, but turns out he didn't actually like those things. Another was we weren't intimate after those things, and well... he was a bit upset after I had a extremely difficult time period at work during lockdown that I came home so late I was exhausted and had migraines and vertigo that I didn't feel like intimacy in the way he wanted and needed, so he ending up taking away everything and just "protected" himself with games. This turned into him saying we were like roommates yet not realising he also significantly contributed to that feeling by playing videogames only. We fixed it, but it took therapy...

I have no issue with alone time, because I want to read books, we now make sure we first ask about the evening, if we are doing something together to our own individual hobby. But, we must do something together a few times a week.

Compromise has to go both ways, though. He has to drop the videogame and play boardgames with you. Sometimes we will watch a movie together then I'd read my book and to my surprise, this year, he started reading books with me. Then, sometimes, I've sat when he played games and I play my Switch. But these are just in the evening after work kind of nights. He now started to accept going to the beach or something on weekends. I don't know fully what the councillor or therapist said exactly, but they did bring out the divorce word and it freaked him out so much at how much he didn't want that, that he began compromising and communicating better

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