Should we have another baby?

There’s no rush. We always wanted at least 2 but for various reasons we have a 7.5 yr gap and the transition to 2 has been a breeze. Maybe in a couple of years you’ll both feel more settled and ready x

I think its not up to us to decide whether you can or can't. Its really whether you as an individual can and are willing to go through it all again and if as a couple you can handle another child. Men may not do the waking up through the night but they too are affected. They go through stuff mentally, emotionally (stuff which if talked about could possibly lead to them being called weak and not manly like therefore leaving them to be closed off about certain things) as well as the financial pressures of having another child in the household. So there really is so much to consider, to talk about, and you both have to be on board with it. x

I think it's really important to hear him when he says he doesn't think he can do it again. Like Vee says, men may not be affected in the exact same way we are, but pregnancy, birth and raising a child does still impact them in many ways. Having a baby should only be something you do if you're BOTH ready, and both want it. Maybe have a good, in depth conversation about it, explore the reasons why you're wanting another one because from this post it basically reads like "there's many reasons why having another kid isn't a good idea buuut I want one anyway" like, why? What are the reasons? Then you can figure out if this is a potential deal breaker for you, or if you'd be able to accept it and feel happy and fulfilled if he does decide he doesn't ever want another one.

It's not a question anyone but you can answer. I have a 10month gap between my first 2 and 3.5years between the youngest. My smaller age gap was easier to navigate personally 2 under 1!

I have a copper IUD to avoid surgeries.

I'd ask your partner to make sure he's positive he does not want another. You don't want to have any regrets later.

@Eleanor thank you, the only thing is that we’re in late 30s so just feel a bit more of a pressure to decide but you’re right, it doesn’t have to be decided straight away

@Vee thank you, and I agree that it’s hard on the men too especially when they are involved. I can see how it has literally aged him (and myself I guess) but part of me thinks that if we’ve managed to get through it once at least this time we would know what to expect. I wouldn’t do it without him on board just thought to get some neutral balanced views on it, so thank you 🙏

Thank you @Lauren . Agree we both need to be on the same page though I did equally hesitate with getting pregnant the first time round as it’s such a huge lifelong responsibility as neither of us felt ‘ready’ though we knew that we will both give our son our everything. That’s what in a way makes it harder because whether it’s we can give even more. It would be wonderful for him to have a sibling and now that it’s starting to get easier I’m just having these thoughts. But equally our mental health and family is more important so it’s hard 🥲

Thanks @Anita . Ah wow I suppose different people have different preferences but having 2 kids under 1 would sure put me in the grave lol so well done, that’s a huge achievement!

@Sheri thank you

It sounds like your toddler isn’t sleeping well which makes the thought of another so much more challenging. I’m also late thirties and 36 weeks with a 27month old, but we were only ready to consider it when she started sleeping through (fortunately for us that was 16 months). If she hadn’t I don’t think we would have done it again, or at least yet…

Ahh bless you, I think it's totally normal and natural to think about giving your child a sibling! My partner and I are very much one and done for a multitude of reasons and I can't ever see myself changing my mind on that, but even my mind sometimes wanders, especially when I see cute sibling videos on Facebook 🥲😂 just keep reminding yourself that 1) not all siblings get on 👀 and 2) while there are definitely positives to having more than 1, there are also so many positives to only having 1 😌 I think take the pressure off for now, enjoy your family unit as it is now and maybe revisit this conversation with your husband in a year or so if you still feel the same ☺️

I never knew if we would have a 2nd as I had a really rough post partum experience. It always made me sad thinking my son may not have any siblings. My boys are 4.5 years apart. I would say it's definitely worth it. But you have to assess what you think/feel and be honest with yourself. Is adoption an option for you both?