What would you do?

My partner of 5 years is addicted to Porn to quite a concerning level. I’ve always allowed him to get on with it but he puts it before everything and I mean everything, he never does housework, never helps out with tidying after himself, never helps looking after our child or our dog, stays up until 2am just masturbating and watching porn all of the time. Now that we have a 4 month old he’s never helping out with her, he stays up until silly hours and gets up late then goes straight to work. He’s missing out on so many “firsts” for our daughter which I find really sad and I did raise my concerns about him needing to get his priorities right but he just turned it into an argument and blamed me?! We do have sex plenty so that isn’t the issue. Any advice because I can’t just go by life looking after our child and a man child because he’d rather look at other naked women. It’s pointless talking to him again about it because he just turns it into an argument.

Show your support

that is absolutely disgusting and i think you deserve so much more than a lustful man. List kills love, relationships, respect , if you don’t consider it cheating that’s completely fine, but he’s putting videos of other women before you and your child? i know it’s so hard to leave since it’s a 5 year relationship and it’s easier said then done but i would truly set a boundary and give him the chance of, this isn’t okay, im not gonna take it anymore, and you need to somehow meet in the middle, please don’t let someone treat you like this when you deserve so much more 🩷

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can only imagine how hard this has been and is for you. Well done for focusing on your baby, this is the natural normal thing to do! Surely this environment is not healthy for your innocent child to be around, its absolutely toxic for you but also for your child to be around and grow up in... Boundaries certainly need to be set, but I also think your partner has a serious addiction that needs committing to therapy. This is not normal on so many levels! Thinking of you x🙏

It sounds like he needs therapy but he needs to commit to it for it to work. Until then, honestly it's probably for the best to leave him and just focus on yourself and baby. It's such a difficult situation for you. I have experienced addiction in the household as a child and it is not a good environment to grow up in x

That's sounds like a complete addiction. The first step is for him to consider if he wants to get better at all. If it was any other drug like cocaine, he'd go to a resort and go to meetings etc, so he'd definitely need therapy and more. If he doesn't even want to improve, I'd leave him.

Thank you all for your messages and I completely agree it is not healthy for my daughter to grow up around. I think I will give him the option to get help and if he refuses it’s probably time for me to leave. My baby is my number 1 priority and if leaving her dad is what I have to do to keep her safe and away from his addiction then I will do that as hard as it will be.

Girl you are better than me! I would be straight out the door! Me and partner both used to watch porn but we never ever allowed it to get in the way of our relationship and we would only watch it when we was not together. We soon then decided to stop and have both not watched it since, it slowly kills relationships and damages self esteem and confidence. He sounds like he has a serious problem, the only reason I’d say to try and work it out is souly for your little one but if he can not then leave.

You need to get a handle on this situation because big red flags!!!! Why on earth did you have children with him?!?!? Save up your ‘fuck off fund’ (pot of money to leave that every woman should have) and get out of there! Just no.

Can he not help you out after work then think about porn later at night? If not then he needs professional help

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌