Am I being a nag?
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@Courtney I think you're right, he's more than happy to help but half the time the mess I'm cleaning is his anyway it's just draining🤣 im glad you're partner is working through it and improving. Thank you for commenting 🩷
Maybe some sort of schedule for the week with tasks planned for each day could work? I sometimes leave a note on the fridge with a list of things that need doing for him to refer to without me needing to reiterate it 15 times over
i’ve struggled with this with my partner. we have a little white board on the fridge, and it helps if i write down the things i want him to do and ask him to check the list. that way im not constantly reminding. he has adhd so that contributes to it. but i feel your frustration lol
My ex was the same. Would always tell me to ask if I needed help etc but my issue was I shouldn't have to always ask... you have eyes you can see what needs doing, you live in the house too, not just me 😫
@Andrea yes oh my god exactly this! Genuinely though I don't think he notices🙄 its exhausting
I hate this. My partner is the same way and I basically have stopped asking and have seriously considered singlehood. The fact that I need to ask him to do shared tasks in our home for our family blows me away. You are not a nag. It’s not unreasonable that your partner be your equal contributor. I have contributed my partners disregard for shared house tasks to his ADHD but he has a really good idea of what needs to be done for himself. I have even heard him say that if he didn’t make the mess he doesn’t want to clean it up. I do all the dishes, the kids laundry, even his sometimes if it ends up in mine and the kids’ basket. I do the flooring.
You could try to stop cleaning after him or stop cleaning at all.
My husband will do big house projects (we have so many) on his own accord and tells me to ask him if ever I need help, and does things I directly ask him to around the house.
You wouldn’t have to ask him, if he didn’t make messes in the first place. If he’s annoyed by you asking, he should do it without asking.
I was trying to scroll and I accidentally hit dramatic I’d go with the same
Dont worry you're not being a nag at all! My partner is the same! He struggles with doing household on his own initiative (childhood trauma) so he waits for me to ask him for help He is working through that trauma and is doing some things without me asking like dishes etc but its not consistent yet so i do feel like im pulling my hair out a lotttttt You're not alone with it at all ❤️ i think men automatically assume that us women are the default parents 🙄 piss take tbh haha