Should I stay or should I go

Stay with you parents. These men are fucking clowns. Its good to be soft and sensitive. That's what women are meant to be. He was prob used to seeing his mom slave away as a mother and do all the things the way so many western families do. I know u love him and that's the worst part about it but honestly it's so good u left. You set boundaries. Don't come back until he changes with his actions, not with words

That just doesn’t seem like it came from a place of love and wanting to reconnect. That wording seems like a personal attack to make you feel like you’re not doing enough to take the heat off of him for not helping. It seems like a manipulation tactic to tear you down so you feel like you should carry the load or your “weak” and your not. It’s not weak to want help with a baby. You did not create that baby alone. Just because you are soft and nice does not mean you are weak. You can be feminine and pleasant and still be strong emotionally.

@Alanna Roper it was so hurtful. I've battled a lot of mental health struggles, and I kind of use that as an example of why i'm not weak, and he said, that's what normal people do. He's always had some red flags, but he's never talked to me like that. And compared me to other girls. Like this one he works with. He just went through the police academy, so I guess he's seen a lot of "strong" woman but he likes a submissive girl like me. You would hate having someone who actually stands up for themselves and talks back to him

@Janae it's crazy because his whole family is on my side they are appalled by his behavior. Go look at my other replies for more content its so messy

First of all battling mental health issues is some of the strongest things a person can do. You are not weak. And so many people deal with it, and lose the battle. You are strong. I would be hurt too. These are screaming some pretty big red flags. If this is new behavior do you think something could have changed? Maybe he’s found interest in someone else or how someone else acts and is projecting that onto you in a negative manner. Regardless his words are not a reflection of you. Don’t ever believe that. Therapy could be worth a shot if he really wants to work on it. But if all he is going to do is negate responsibility and degrade you, moving on is the best option. No one deserves to live life feeling less than. Our partners are the people we trust most and for him to take your insecurities and battles and use them against you is pitiful. And it will take a huge toll on your mental health if you allow it. Be strong and tell him you will not allow him to degrade you.

I was 108 lbs when I met my husband 20 years ago We’ve been married for 11 years this July I weigh 250 lbs. Sounds like your husband is finding a reason for himself to not stay honestly My husband NEVER once commented on my weight or appearance. Ever. I have medical issues and they went undiagnosed for several years. I gained 75lbs in 3 months my senior year of HS Your husband is an ass. I’m so sorry he said that to you

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ and hes gained weight and lost weight Just like anyone else and I have never once thought he looked bad or didn't want to sleep with him or anything like that I barley even noticed. If he loved me for me I feel like he wouldn't focus on my weight.

As someone who's husband said exactly the same thing to me it was hard the first couple months. But after a huge fight I pointed out his words. He was projecting his insecurities onto me. I did gain weight and yes he wasn't as attracted to me. So I have beeb working on myself. I stopped dressing up, initiating sex, doing my makeup, and overall not feeling good. I didn't gain a lot of weight but enough for him to lose that interest. We had to compromise though. He had to work out too. I had to explain what my body went through to give him a child. He had to understand that it's not something you just jump back from. I had to take away my feelings because that's how he communicates. He's very blunt but I'd rather he be honest with me than to find him finding interest in another woman (virtual or in person) I always told my husband he's handsome and attractive. But he needed to feel that. I can't make him feel that just like he can't make me feel beautiful. It's been 4 months since and we're happy.

It took a lot of healing though and boundary setting.

@Elisabeth do you feel like he's attracted to you now? Does he initiate sex? I'm a very needy person. I need to constantly be feeling loved and i'm scared, he won't give it to me

Oh yeah the man can't keep to himself anymore. He's been working out now for a year and got his confidence back. I've been working out since January and I got mine back too. I'm taking more care of myself and getting praise from him about my progress. Sex has also been great.

Exactly. My husband put on a lot of weight since my son was born and he took an office job. I never once said anything about it except being concerned for his heart because of his BP being so high. I couldn’t imagine my husband saying anything to me. He never has. A woman’s body changes during and after pregnancy. Some women are lucky and it doesn’t change drastically but that’s so wrong for your partner to make you feel bad about it. 25lbs isn’t that much. I gained 50 pounds total. 30 just from January. I was 200lbs when I gave birth. I didn’t gain while breastfeeding. I maintained. But the moment I stopped I put on so much weight and my thyroid hasn’t been regulated since either. I’ll never lose weight no matter how much I try

Sounds to me there is another woman on the scene and he is comparing you to her… I’d leave asap!

@Dessy we are going to do counseling but I just don't know

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ yeah he kind of admitted that he didn't mean it But it still hurts

An update: we talked and we are doing counseling but we agreed that we both need to make changes. But we haven't talked about the changes. Idk I just feel like hes going to guilt trip me

Sounds like he’s making excuses .

@Elizabeth I agree. But how do I forgive him for saying that

Was the counselling yours or his idea?

@Dessy I suggested it before we fought and then he said he wanted to do it after