Feeling like a single mum while engaged

I feel like my partner only wants to take part in the “good parts” of raising a child. He has no patience, when she cry’s he just shouts at her even though she’s the most chill baby and hardly ever cry’s but he just loses his shit and it won’t have even been 5mins. I feel like I do everything on my own and I’m so lonely, I’ve tried talking to him about it but he just says he’s a provider and he’s not good and the care giving part. He will always pay for things and takes care of us in other ways but he has almost no empathy and is just so quick to lose his temper. I told him today that the way he behaves makes me not want to have another child and now (as normal) he’s ignoring me until I’m the one to talk to him or get over it. I just don’t see why I should pull the short straw for all the hard work bits with the baby just because I’m a woman. He was the one who pushed for kids as I wasn’t ready, she was a happy accident and I wouldn’t change her for anything but o feel like he just wants me to completely drop my old life and who I was before to be just a mum. I’m not knocking anyone who wants that but it’s never been me, I have 2 businesses and I’ve always been super active, fit and social. Before I had my girl I was in the best shape of my life looking forward to travelling, now that’s all gone. I hate my body, my hairs falling out in clumps and is dull and lifeless. I don’t know who I am anymore and I feel like all my friends have drifted away since I got pregnant I don’t really know what I’m asking or looking for here I just have no one else to talk to.

Show your support

Sending you strength and peace for the journey ahead. My friend told me to function like he doesn’t exist and he’d come around. Worked like magic but it took some time to see the effects. I do hope he comes around ❤️

This is very hard to go through, so sorry. Definitely don’t have anymore kids with this person as he has shown you exactly who/how he is and having any more kids will only make it so much more harder on you primarily. It’s easy to get lost in motherhood especially as a first time mom and without the proper support system. As with him ignoring you when you’re trying to communicate is ridiculous and very immature. If he’s okay providing financially and doesn’t want to help physically himself then by all means look for additional help that he has to pay for so it’s not all on you. A part time nanny, someone to clean the home or whatever you need because what’s the point in having a partner that does absolutely nothing to help, you’re better off single and he can just be on child support if that’s what he wants. Try to focus on yourself as much as you can and your baby and eventually you’ll figure out what’s best for you and you’ll start to feel more like yourself in time. Good luck 🩷

Get rid of him. If you’re already doing single mom shit, you may as well be a single mom. This will not improve.

I agree with all of the above comments,.but wanted to add that regardless of his position in parenting that motherhood does change you and it takes time to find yourself again. I've found that im different and the woman I was before has forever been changed, but improved in ways I could never imagine. Its taken time to embrace myself again but I finally feel(almost 1.5 years post partum) that i love myself again. The unsupportive partner thing is no joke, and single mothering while your still with your partner is 100% harder than just doing it on your own. It aounds like he is having a very hard time adjusting to parenthood. Its no excuse but I would say that something needs to change ASAP in order for this to continue on. When times a re calm I would suggest bringing up counseling, stay strong.

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