Any advice?

My husband is a cold and controlling man. Of course before marriage was the opposite. He critizes everything I do because it's not the way he will do it. He actually said I'm not ready to be a wife because i let the compost bin get too full before emptying it which is funny because prior to this he would say I empty it too much and I was wasting compost bags. So you can see every small and big thing I do is critized. We dont have dates nights or anything like that because he thinks it's a waste time. In 7 years he has never bought me a bday, christmas or anything present. Doesnt say happy mothers day to me because i am not his mom but we have three kids. Yet, I need to be ready, available and in the mood when he wants s3x. I do it so we dont fight but as time goes on I am pulling away and its harder to get in the mood. I also started going through perimenopause and my body is going through many changes and it's even harder to get in the mood at all or turned on. He got really mad saying I have an issue. When I tried saying we are disconnected he yelled louder saying no that a wife should available and ready. And now rude silent treatment for days. I just don't know anymore. Are others able to get turned on without having a connection?

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I'm sorry you're going through this. I'd say my main question is why are you still with him? Staying together 'for the kids' is generally a bad idea as it teaches them that this behaviour is normal and part of a loving relationship... which it obviously isn't.

He's emotionally abusing you and this could give you long term health issues. Please seek a professional counselor immediately.

I don’t know how you’ve managed to survive with such a husband all these years. It’s hard to imagine how you’ve silently endured so much for 7 long years. I may not know every detail of your situation, but I still want to say this—start saying no when you don’t want something, speak up, ask questions, and don’t hold back just because “he’ll throw tantrums.” Let him. Ignore the drama. You have one life—don’t waste it dimming your light to keep someone else comfortable. You deserve peace, respect, and happiness.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. You DON’T deserve this 🤍 @Lyss, time to whip out those quotes!

@Caroline yes for years I thought of the kids but finally and slowly things are coming to light and I am realizing I don't want my daughter's to be me or for my son to be him. Figuring a way out if harder than I thought

@Manveen I've put up with it for this long because I would stick to script, not say too much not say too little to keep things calm while figuring a way out. Me telling or expressing or simply standing up for myself can and has turned very bad in the past. I'm trying to find coping mechanisms.

@Mary thank you. I have. I haven't for the last year because therapy begins to strengthen me and until I can leave this does not play out well at home. the stronger I get the meaner he becomes and I can't take it

Don’t let his old fashioned way of thinking(it’s wrong he thinks this way)that you should always be ready for sex when he is. Or you should always be ready 100% of the time. That’s a lie created by some people to get others to do what they want. It’s sick he even said that to be honest. Could you imagine what would happen if he wasn’t in the mood yet you kept pushing for sex and telling him he should always be ready as a husband? What about if he gets ed due to age some point down the line, would he like to be shamed and told he’s not normal? Would he like to be made fun of for something like that? This man got no respect for you and he won’t ever have it. Personally if it was me I’d be out the door or I’d be kicking him out. I’m sorry he’s being like this and hurting you but genuinely for your own sanity safely leave. When he’s at work if you have someone you can go to or any shelters then go. I’ve not heard of someone improving from these behaviours and I was also subjected to years

Of it and all it did is get worse until I left. You have to chase the life you want and it’s really difficult I understand but you have to be brave for the betterment of your life

@Sera Kay ✨ thanks for tagging me! I appreciate you thought of me and the quotes lol as much as I try to help everyone that needs these, I do in fact miss some lol so again thanks for helping 🫶🏻

@Lyss yeah I read this and I was like “let me introduce you to Lyss” lmao. This was 100% a you post. Xx

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