Am I the only woman who hates marriage?

This is so true especially with African cultures.

So true I'm in the same boat as you.

I am happy in marriage because I put my foot down.. my husband works but I do, too. Majority of the meals in the house, he cooks. I take care of the baby most of the time but that’s because the baby cries for me when his dad has him. I think it’s because I’m softer. My husband washes clothes and I fold them. He cleans the bathrooms, I keep the front room and the rooms clean and vacuumed. We have grown kids that babysit for us to have date nights or go to the movies so we still get to spend quality time together. We went to the beach this past weekend just because and it was like a vacation. There are ways to love marriage. You just have to figure it out. I think the people who hate marriage are the ones who haven’t figured out how to successfully communicate what they want or learned how to compromise so everyone’s needs are met.

I think it depends on how he was raised and what he does with that My first husband was raised very traditional Mexican household and it made things hard because he worked and I worked but he’d never help me and we had 3 under 3 at one point I was in schools working and had to to everything else and I wasn’t having it With my now husband he was raised mostly with his mom but raised to help n his dad was 60 when he was born but still worked and taught him to be a man but we both work, we both help around the house. We both cook and there’s days I’m to tired and he picks up my slack and vice versa he’s on call 2 weeks a month and i carry more of the weight but when’s he’s home he’s helping

@LeKenya You’re very lucky; I think it depends on the partner as well. I’m pregnant right now, and when my spouse and I argue, we apologize afterward. However, when I try to communicate why the issue happened, he'll try to shut me up, saying, 'Babe, I’m sorry,' which seems to mean he wants me to drop the matter. It's like he keeps saying sorry but does the same thing and doesn’t even let me explain why I’m upset. and try say I made him to react how he react because I brought the issue up like huh.

@Tashina To be honest, I feel like he was raised right because his mom was a single mom, and she said he used to help her with laundry and cooking when he was young back in Africa. But I feel like he’s listening to other people's advice. My family is part of the problem, to be honest. I'm not trying to blame his actions on anyone because he’s a grown ass man, but sometimes when your family doesn’t value you, men tend to take advantage of that. For example, there was a time we had a fight about him not helping in the house. When we told our family about this issue, they said seeing a man who helps in the house is very rare that I’m complaining too much, and even his sister said she can’t expect her husband to come home from work and still wash dishes, blah blah. And I have a brother who treats women like shit and doesn’t even hide it and they are both very close.

Maybe y’all need to keep your family out of your relationship I’d try counseling and definitely stop talking to other people about yalls problems that just creates more problems I know because that used to happen in my relationship and it didn’t help we went to counseling and now we’re great if we have issues we talk to eachother

Be specific and talk about the men you’re married to, and not drag the entire continent in your marital issues.

@Adlo if you can't read, get off my post. I'm literally sharing my personal experiences and observations on specific cultural dynamics I've seen in some marriages, not generalizing about an entire continent. If you’re happy in your marriage good for you.

@Adlo women like you are why society looks down upon women 🤦‍♀️ someone is venting about her own situation and Lekenya there did say she is happy without criticizing the person who posted. There is you with nothing meaningful to say. I doubt you are happy where you are 🙄

I think @LeKenya and @Tashina said it best. If a man said they used to be independent before marriage make sure he keeps the same energy. Granted he may not be good with the kids, let him take on small task for starters. It makes no sense to vent to others that are okay with behaviors you are not okay with. It is never too late to RESPECFULLY change the tone of your marriage that suits everyone. And i used to tell my husband “an apology without corrective actions, is manipulation”. So let that sink in.

@Franny I appreciate those perspectives, and I agree that maintaining independence and addressing issues directly are super important.

@Lizzy Seriously, if she’s really happy she won’t feel attacked. I'm happy for people who are genuinely happy in their marriage.

@Lizzy The bottom line is, talk trash about your useless men. And not the entire continent!!! And I said what I said!!!!!!!

Well it’s your fault for marrying a loser. Not our problem. You 🫵🏽 picked him and now u want to insult the entire continent! Oh please 🙄

@Adlo the poll don’t lie but wish you well 😊

At the end of the day, that’s your experience and not mine. You picked your husband, now deal with it.

Im not here to argue or anything like most of the posts here, just wanted to say it’s Italian men too with their moms and the traditional family dynamic 🤪

@Jessica Wow, that's interesting. I thought this was only a thing with African men 🤣. It's sad how so many of them are in America and still haven't changed their mentality.