in August 2025 Babies 🇺🇸

I don’t want to go to my own baby shower.

My baby shower is this Sunday and I’ve been planning for two months at this point. My husband and I had decided for food to do a make your own sandwich bar because people have their own preferences and that way everyone can choose what they want. Well my MIL decided she didn’t want to make her own sandwich at the baby shower and that meant no one else would want to either. So she ordered sandwiches from the store. Problem is I’m vegetarian and the reason we weren’t going to order sandwiches is because they don’t make any I can eat. She also decided to order chicken, again. Not something I can eat. It’s my baby shower and she’s made it all about what she wants and frankly I’m over it. The majority of the people going are people I don’t know because she invited them. Unfortunately we live with her as well and I’m just absolutely over everything and anything to do with her so I told my husband she can have her baby shower because I’m not going. I’m tired of everything being her way or the highway and my husband never says anything to her. He just lets her do this shit. She even does this on her nights to cook dinner (which at this point is rare cause she’s unhelpful), where she intentionally doesn’t make anything I can eat. I go out of my way constantly to make food with meat for her even though I don’t eat it but she refuses to show me the same respect and when I say anything to my husband he says we do it to her too, which is not true. (His reference being she doesn’t like Alfredo sauce on pasta, but I always set plain pasta aside so she can put her own sauce. Same thing when I make mac and cheese because she doesn’t like the cheese). I’m just over it and her. I can’t even be in the same room as her because I’m so upset and just depressed at this point. She doesn’t care about my feelings or needs at all in any regard even beyond the baby shower and my husband doesn’t do anything to put her in her place. I’m miserable and I hate my life with her around. But we can’t move and we’re stuck with her.

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You're doing the right thing. Keep your words respectful but set your boundaries clearly. If you give in to her she will take just as much freedom with your baby. Husband needs to back you if your marriage will stand this. And I would encourage you start a plan for moving out from his parents house. Otherwise mother in law won't ever take you seriously.

Agreed. You’re doing everything right, but your husband needs to back you up or she will never take it seriously unfortunately. I’m so sorry this is happening to you especially when you’re just trying to celebrate your baby

@Riely he doesn’t back me and won’t. Had enough conversations with him and as much as he says he’d choose us he never put her in her place. Or any of his family when they’re disrespectful. She doesn’t care about boundaries and disrespects them no matter how respectful or kindly they’re established.

I don’t think he’s realizing that he can stand up for you without being mean or disrespectful. It’s super easy to say “hey I feel like you’re disrespecting my wife and we need to talk about that”. And at the bare minimum he should be able to do that for you and for the family you are creating together.

@Amber he knows. She’s just so manipulative that he won’t say anything because she won’t listen or respect him either.

I understand what you’re going through but if I were you I would GO TO THE BABYSHOWER THAT I PLANNED FOR MYSELF, I would do the bar sandwich right next to the ones she ordered (so you can eat and in case you have vegetarian friends too) and I would have a happy face the entire time just to show her that even though she tries hard, she doesn’t have the power to ruin your mood or to take away special celebrations like this one. If she doesn’t make vegetarian options for dinner then start doing your own. I know this is hard but give yourself a little pat on the back and remind yourself that you got this. She can do or say as much as she wants but it’s up to you to decide if those actions or words are going to affect your feelings or mood. The best solution for this would be to get your own place, talk to your husband and put together a plan to make this happen.

I had a bunch of drama leading up to my baby shower too… we had it today and it was nice but I could tell some people were unhappy. I wish I just had a registry and sent out a card “we’re having a baby here’s the registry if you want to support us” and never thrown a shower. I’m not a super social person and I only did it because “that’s what you’re supposed to do” and I was miserable. I got home and told my boyfriend I never want to do that again and we’re eloping with no one around lol

Did you go to the baby shower

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