I'm tired

I want to start by saying this is venting. My husband is a great husband and father. Right now we are going through it. My husband and I are both sick and like any man he acts like he has the plague. I had to leave for work travel and the house became a mess. Every time I leave we get into an argument. This time it was because I needed help getting things into the car. We were dropping our son off with my in laws while I was traveling. So he wasn't even watching our son. Well we got into it as to how "I'm ungrateful, always on his ass, all I do is nag, and don't care about him". At this point I just let him know he can suffer alone. I grab my bags and ask my in laws if I can stay at their house. So we leave and I fly out. When I'm back we address the arguing and say we need to stop it. Everything was good we left the house as is because we both got sick. I've been taking care of our son while working full time while he goes to work. He does clean the house because he sees that as fair. Well today he got upset because he's sick and had to clean last night. I told him it's okay, thank you for cleaning, I'll get the house today. I try giving him medicine and he acted like a little kid by saying no. So I got on him because I don't want him to be miserable. Well he saw that as disrespectful and came to me to say so. I told him you're acting like a child, just take the medicine so it'll make you feel better. Then he says "if you're going to call me a child just know I can name call too. I'll be better at it too." I waved my hands like I don't care. He leaves and doesn't message me. I'm so sick of being mother to everyone. I'm tired of being told one moment I'm a great wife and mother only then to be told I'm the opposite. I hate crying in front of my son because my husband gets sensitive when he's sick. I love him and we've talked about this. But when I say "i don't like it" he immediately gets defensive and says that I always blame him. I've worked on my words and even stopped using "I/You" statements. It's just overwhelming and exhausting.

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Why do they always refuse medication. I hate it. My husband will bitch about a headache but refuse ibuprofen, refuse cough medicine when he has a cold. It’s dumb

No at this point I want to waterboard him with Dayquil

Honestly, i might be the odd one out with this opinion, but if he doesn't want to take medication, then don't make him. EVEN IF, in your opinion, it'll make him feel better.. that isn't always the case. Most of us, when we are sick, is our body's way of telling us we need to rest. And so we should honestly allow the person who is sick, just that. If the house is consistently messy, it's possible there just needs to be an adjustment on the routine and rotating chores, etc. I hope you guys figure it out because mindless bickering doesn't help anyone and just adds more stress and more stress = more illness. /: you can ask him what you can do that would help him feel better or heal quicker but it's essential that you're receptive to what those would be.. maybe it's hot water, lemon, honey, and cayenne pepper, maybe a raw clove of garlic.. but it's not always the simple medicine in a bottle.. sometimes it is.. but not always, and maybe he's just looking for a different way at this point

But I also want to say that I get it, when my man is sick .. he is SICK and im like wtffff? When he has a stomach bug, he's literally puking his guts out like.. worse than anyone ive ever seen.. and when he has a fever, he's barely conscious .. and when he's got a cough and cold, he is just miserable and basically cant do anything.. and when im sick.. its like an annoying fly in the room but nothing that puts me out so badly lmao.. we are very different species, my husband and I.. so I get it but I think its important to let people rest when they're sick and i stand by that

But what is she supposed to do while they’re both sick as she said?…. Are they both suppose to just veg out, not work, not take care of the baby? (Ignore the house part because that can always be cleaned some other time)

@Monica I totally get that and usually I would agree with you. But my husband gets a terrible cough and he's a professional musician. He can go out of commission for weeks which puts him in a bad mood. I make teas and do holistic remedies. Our house is hardly dirty. We keep a chore list that's followed but if we don't follow it our house gets dirty since we cook all day. The medicine in question was a tablespoon of honey. I sent him to work with tea and soup. Cleaning was never my enforcement that was all him. He has bad OCD and is bipolar so when he's sick and it falls in line with a low the house gets messy. With me being gone at the same time it was terrible. I hardly get sick and when I do it hits like a truck. My husband gets sick every few months so episodes like this are frequent. Doctors say nothing is wrong with him and we try to prevent with herbs and supplements but to no avail he gets sick.

Is he (are you??) Guys getting enough consistent sleep and activity/movement through your day? Like actual sleep and movement such as intentional walks, hikes, yoga, etc? Other ideas if you notice sickness is frequent is just like making sure your air filters are changed regularly, maybe add a humidifier, clean sheets, new pillows, sometimes sickness sticks in our mattresses and pillows and washing the linen isn't always enough .. I am sorry you guys are dealing with cyclic sickness. Its really not a good time and its almost like we don't appreciate our health fully until one or the other is sick and its just.. all consuming. 😔

Also you can try doubling up the water intake and maybe do a cleanse from soda, sugars and processed carbs for a bit if you guys are able? I'm not saying like forever (cuz your girl loves soda and some skittles lol) but maybe commit to like.. a clean clean diet for 1-3 months OR a full juice cleanse for 3-5 days. What people don't realize is it takes approximately 27 days or something for something to fully digest through the body, like.. the blood, the nervous system, the brain, the gut.. more than just.. until it works through the intestines and digestive tract.. it takes a long time to fully rid yourself of built up crap --- it could be the answer for him to kind of just give himself a fresh start in the body!

@Monica oh yes haha. We did a sleep study, change our filters quarterly, we workout 5 times out of the week, i cook at home. We have a humidifier, I change the sheets and pillows weekly. I clean the mattress and pillows quarterly roo. We live in Phoenix so getting out gets hard this time of year. He drinks a gallon of water a day and sticks to a strict diet that omits everything processed. We've talked with a dietician and nutritionist and they said they're unsure why my husband gets sick so often. We've been on this diet for over a year.

He sleeps consistently 7-8 hours during the week and 8-9 hours on weekends. Our son doesn't go to daycare he stays home with me since I work from home.

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