Girls girls only pahahhah

I would just not tell him you're going to the gym, don't even tell him you are interested in going to the gym because he might get worried that you know and stop going with her, just have your mom watch the baby while you go, don't let him see you until you see him leave with her then ambush lol

@PJ you mean like almost hide from him? I was going to show up seem innocent and say I’m here to work out with you. There’s been a short time and our relationship many many years ago when I thought he wasn’t cheating. And we were working out together four days a week. I thought about telling him that that was when our relationship was strongest. So I wanna work out with you and just innocently show up without telling him. Or should I hide in the parking lot and wait for them to kiss when she leaves or something? I have a feeling they have a full-blown relationship together. I think it’s been going on for at least three years. I also think that they’ve been meeting for lunch like four days a week. And recently he watched our son for the very first time and my son’s two years old he took him to the park on a Saturday. I have a feeling the woman knows that he has a son, but doesn’t know I exist. I don’t know what to do. Sorry I’m rambling because I’m a stressed.

@PJ thank you so much for the advice though I’m gonna do what other people think is best because I have no idea what to do

Show up unannounced and say something like “I wanted to surprise you and come work out!” But I’d do it a little into his workout so you catch ‘em together

You don't want him to see you until you know it's on a day that she's with him, because if you happen to surprise him on a day she's not there then he will be expecting you from now on and he can maybe tell her he doesn't want to go to the gym with her anymore or something

@PJ that’s absolutely true. Also he claims that he goes to planet fitness because it works with his work schedule because there’s multiple planet fitness when he has a multi thousand dollar at home gym. He works sales so he kind of travels a bit no more than 30 minutes from our house but still I have a feeling that if he knew I was coming, he would go to a different planet fitness to avoid her and tell her he couldn’t work out that day or something. That’s a really good point I didn’t think about that.

@PJ what do you think if I consistently showed up though my mom said that she would watch him three days a week I could just show up different days every week maybe

@PJ also if he is working out with a woman there every day that he has a relationship with I bet there’s people there who know them and know that they’re in a relationship together. I thought it would be good if I showed my face to the people around the gym as well.

You say you want proof. What do you consider to be proof? Make sure you get this proof before you confront him.

@Anna I was hoping to find them working out together I know he’s meeting someone at the gym. If he’s working out with someone and I introduce myself as his wife. Well, I’m sure his girlfriend would have something to say about that. Right?

I would surprise him honestly. But what might be even better is if you have a friend who goes to the same gym that can scope out the situation & see what days this chick goes, that way you go the right time. Or just have your mom watch your baby even for an hour and go to the gym the same time as him. Are you a gym goer or not at all?

Are you in a spot to hire a private investigator? Could be good for many reasons including divorce support or future child support if you decide to go that route..

@Courtney i used to be before i had a baby, but now im not I used to be fit now im like 20 pounds overweight having a baby did a number on my body but honestly it’s because I don’t have a chance to go to the gym. He won’t watch the baby for me to go to the gym or help at all. He’s 6 foot three and ripped. But it’s because he gets to go to the gym while I watch his baby. My eating habits aren’t what they used to be either. I blame stress and depression bc of my husband . 😬 and it’s me too being lazy.

@Courtney and I don’t know anyone that goes to that gym. It’s probably one reason he chose it. I could maybe hire someone to follow him, but I’m a stay at home mom I’d have to use his money to hire someone🤦🏻‍♀️

I heard you can leave air pods in their car and then track your airpod case on maps for find my device, then you know which location he is at. Is first try and catch a kiss goodbye or something (which you can do with your kid in the car just be out doing errands/go to a park/swing by the gym with sometime to park near the exit since you won't know what car she has if he walks her to hers. Then once you have solid evidence and knowledge do the mom babysitter show up and catch him with her.

Harder to deny an innocent gym run in if you have already seen a kiss

Oh that’s bullshit! My husband and I have been avid gym goers since high school & we both understand how important it is to each other. My husband goes 6 days a week for two hours, he’s a power lifter so I completely get where you’re coming from with the jacked husband who had a to go to the gym. I haven’t gone consistently since my cesarean, but my husband tells me I should go because he knows I’ll feel better. We both get two hours for our self during the day whether it’s for the gym or something else. It’s completely crap that he won’t watch his own child so his wife can go to the gym or do anything else for yourself. Have you had that conversation with him? He’s has a responsibility to his child just as much as you do, it isn’t right to put it all on you. You deserve time to yourself! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. He sounds like a schmuck!

If your mom is able to watch your child or anyone else, just start going to the gym at the same time as him. Make it to where he has no opportunity to be up to no good. If he has a problem with his wife going to the gym at the same time as him, that’s super suspicious. My husband wishes we could go to the gym together; but I’m not ready for anyone to watch my son yet. Do what you have to do girl! You deserve so much better!

I'm so sorry you're going through this... 1) If you have an iphone you can track his phone. 2) If you want to ambush him be sure to use an uber (maybe?) or have a friend drive you so he doesn't happen to see you and sneak off or tell her to act like they don't know eachother. A friends car is probbaly better so uou cam wait and see if he's meeting up with her and also makes it easier for you to gather evidence like take pictures and videos. 3) Better yet, if you have an friend who is willing, who he doesnt know, they could go to that gym and gove you feedback or even video evidence as you wait in their car or at home. 4) Take clear pictures, videos and dont ambush him on the day. Gather all the evidence and then contact a divorce lawyer before confronting him. Then only confront him with the evidence when divorce papers are being served and his bags and clothes are at the door readily available for his journey back to the streets where he belongs.

To people saying something about location I have his location and I’ve been noticing he’s turning his location off every day for about 4 to 5 hours a day. Then turns it back on the moment he pulls on to our street

The location thing would've worked if he didn't know about it. So just following him to the gym when he's going. Making sure you're close enough but not too close so you're not seen and blow your cover because if he even suspects you're following or even suspct him he will change his whole routine and find another way.

That's why the air pods thing is good. Under the seat, must have fallen there. Then you see his location when he turns it off on his phone.

Pull up on his ass. And find proof through his phone. Put an iPad in his car so you can track him.

Pop up, pop up or send a UFO (unidentified friend or other) to gather intel and receipts. It's not what you know it's what you can prove butttt who cares plan your exit silently and leave in peace0

He probably isn't going to the gym to meet her he is just telling you that or maybe they start there and end elsewhere that's why he turns his location off. Whatever you do be smart about it and make sure you can use it to your benefit in the future (divorce if you go that route). See if any lawfirms in your are offer a free consult so you can get advice on how to move forward. Not on how to catch him although you can ask if that would be beneficial. Are you able to put some money away in a personal account and save up for a PI? Sounds like he supports the family so just plan your exit and be patient. Make sure you have income lined up, housing, possibly a job, so that you can support yourself and your child especially for custody reasons. Do you have access to bank statements? See if he is spending on suspicious things. Good luck

I’d get him to counselling and confront him in a safe setting. Just going the to gym won’t prove anything, even if he is with a girl it proves nothing in reality - they could just be friends. If he confesses at counselling you can go from there, if not you get to air all your worries and thoughts and go from there.

Divorce?? What's his life insurance like lol

Some smart women on here talking about consulting lawyers and counselors. If you have kids together you are going to be coparenting after this, and separating as peacefully as possible will set you up to work together best for the kids. A big dramatic GOTCHA may be cathartic, but it will play out negatively long-term.

If you have the budget get a PI. Don’t get caught up trying to catch him while handling the baby- you have enough on your plate. Once you get proof don’t approach him/ let him know you know. Get a lawyer, deal with shared accounts, save money, find a new place, and lockdown your support system so you’ll have help with baby care. Then, if you want, talk to him. Or straight up move out ( maybe while he is gone), leaving copies of your proof and serve papers same day.

@Cally my AirPods only seem to show location if they are being used I checked today is that normal. Obviously if I left them in his car he wouldn’t be using them lol

@Emma I’ve done this in the past he just denies everything. Counselor told me to leave him and said he’s dangerous

Private investigator is the way to go. They'll be able to get proof that will hold up in court. Showing any of your cards gives him an opportunity to react. Don't get swept up in emotions or drama. Play it smart.

.. maybe pack his bags then… I really don’t know why you posting this question as it sounds like you know what type of person he is. 🤷🏼‍♀️ If he is that immature then even catching him red handed wouldn’t matter to him. Just leave.

Any update on this? How did it go and are you okay?