anyone else?

I have a question is there any spark there before the baby

@Ali you can say that again

@Alisha Glover there was yeah but then i found out he cheated on me while pregnant with our son

@Ellie girl if he can do that to you, is he really someone you want to keep around and spend your time and energy on? Respectfully, Ali's comment isn't really holding men accountable, it's putting all the issues and responsibility on the new mum? He's (presumably) a grown ass adult, who also made this child. He should be able to care for that child, however that looks. If "guys don't like being told what to do" maybe they should try actually doing things. You asked him first anyway, you didn't tell him. He chose not to listen and fall back asleep so that's on him. You're not his mum or his keeper. You shouldn't have to tiptoe round him and be super careful what you say around him, that's not a fair or healthy environment

@Lauren i’m glad you understand thank you

its so normal for your relationship to be rocky after having a baby. Between the big life change, healing postpartum and your partner not understanding what you're going through, you're bound to argue and will have to adjust your relationship around your new addition to the family which can take a while. What's not normal is him cheating on you 😕 you need to decide if you want to forgive and forget and hope he doesn't do it again or leave. I know it's hard to leave your baby's father cause all you want is a perfect family for your child but your happiness means more than anything during this period. It really depends how much he helps with other things, nappy changes, house chores, bills etc

@Lauren this is what I was thinking reading their comment? She shouldn’t have to say “I need help”, she’s just birthed his child it’s obvious she needs help, she didn’t create the child to deal with it all on her own. “If it’s only you two and no help” that’s almost all families these days. Me and my partner just had my boy 15/05/25 and we have ZERO help, we’re exhausted and sometimes we snap but this isn’t happening for us. You two ARE the help lol you help each other. Also what does choosing not to nurse have to do with anything? Why do some women who breast feed act like they’re superior in some way, comes across as a god complex and it’s gross.

Yes I had to tell him or ask him just about every little thing. I nursed so i rarely woke him up to help but when I did it would start a fight 🤦‍♀️ because ide say if nicely the first two times then ide get mad because I’m also tired and don’t sleep near as much as him. Same thing through the day he would sit and do nothing if I didnt tell him so I have to tell him and his attitude is triggering to me because I did just about every thing else. We have our second child so it’s a little better now, but there are still some times where I have to snap a little. Because if you don’t like being told what to do then just do it and sometimes I’m overstimulated and can’t baby the man when I’m babying the other two.

But it did seem to escalate in your case with him leaving. Like you don’t get the option to leave so I do think y’all need to sit down and talk about expectations and what not. But after a baby hormones are crazy and tempers are rising with the sleepless nights and the readjusting to parent hood. Give each other a little grace and take breaks when you can.

@Ellie I totally understand it just keep your head up and choose was better for you and your family