Am I in the wrong
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Her planning it to be on Fathers Day in the first place is weird in my opinion. Seems like she doesnt want you guys to enjoy that First Fathers day as a family. I wouldn’t go at all! Same for your husband
I’d be annoyed BUT its fathers day and not mothers day so I would say that its completely up to him how he wants to spend fathers day so if he wants to do that, okay let him do that
She’s being inconsiderate. You’ll never get a first back
I would also say that's up to your partner. How does HE want to celebrate? You say they never do the drive ? Do you guys invite them over ? If not, maybe they don't want to invite themselves and invite you over so they can bond with you and your kids. I don't think it's ever wrong to ask and invite someone over. If they didn't invite you ever, wouldn't you be pissed they never invite you over ? If it doesn't work for you you can always say, "we don't feel comfortable at doing so much driving with our baby right now, what about you coming over next weekend"?
@Aurélie in all the 7.5 years we've been together, holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) are the only, are you coming/invites, we've gotten. Otherwise it's been him reaching out that we have or are able to take 2 consecutive days off to go visit if they will be around. His dad has said multiple times he doesn't want to come to just sit around our house and watch her(baby), but when zoo or something is brought up doesn't want to go do unless it's just going out for lunch as they are driving through town because they had to go 30 minutes past us for Dr appointment in the bigger city near us..
@Becky I feel that but then a part of me feels, in that case I kind of want to spend Father's Day with my dad then if not celebrating our little family. Then I feel bad for having that thought.
I would do the same!! Id say if you weren’t going with him to do that 6 hrs is a long travel time for baby in one day! Id be so annoyed too though ngl its a bit selfish of her
Nope, don’t go. You are the ones with a baby and starting a family, if she complains about not seeing the baby that’s her problem as she can drive to y’all. My MIL is in another state but never calls or checks on us, mind you my FIL (they aren’t married anymore) is also out of state and calls 3x a week to talk to our daughter. She “claims” it’s because she doesn’t want to bother us but then complains to my mother surprisingly and her other sons about it. MIL’s can also make an effort, the fact that there are some who still try to make it about themselves instead of trying to be present in their children’s families is WILD to me.
No you’re not wrong. Don’t let them guilt you. It is unreasonable to ask someone on their first Father’s Day to drive 3.5 hours away with a 10 month old. It’s unreasonable even if it’s not Father’s Day to ask someone to drive that distance with a little one, nevermind the double unreasonableness that it’s his first Father’s Day. Additionally I wouldn’t encourage him accommodating his first Father’s Day to them by going alone. He wants to be with you guys and that’s where he should be. The beginning of parenthood is when you set the standard. You start to disappoint people and you learn not to care as parenthood goes on because guess what, the choices you make are going to be what’s best for your family, not anyone else. They come first.