Arguing with everyone about rear facing my child!

Have you shown them the videos of the seats being tested? I snapped once at my in laws and said well I’d rather he break a leg than his neck… I’d also ask them for their evidence that forward facing is better…

I had to convince my husband with articles, and my mother in law telling him about the tragic traffic accidents with front facing kids at the hospital she works at, to keep ours rear facing. She’s turning 4 soon, but I’m keeping her like this until she maxes out the weight.

It’s literally nobody else’s decision. It’s 5x safer to fear face, them going against your decision is essentially them saying they’d rather she internally decapitated herself and died than broke a leg in a car crash. I would tell them to fuck all the way off and then buy a car seat that only rear faces. Sorry you’re dealing with that x

@Hettie this would be my suggestion! Don’t even have a convo about it just dump a few of the videos over WhatsApp or something

I insisted with my husband for our girl to front face in the car. She looked extremely uncomfortable rear facing and every journey was a nightmare. She vomited twice all the food while rear facing and this hasn’t happened with front facing. Now she is calmer and a happier baby. I waited till 15 months for her to front face but my friends have done this since their kids turned 12 months old.

My son is FF with his dad. RF with me. I couldn’t stand the argument. We have a rotating seat so it’s a win win for us all My son is RF in my mother’s car as she was hit twice and I’m not taking chances with her driving even though he’s never in her car anyway

This is for some reason a really triggering conversation for some people but this is your baby and their safety and you are prioritising that. My little boy is almost 5 and still rear facing - if anyone asks I simply reply I’d rather he had broken legs than a broken neck… brutal but unfortunately could be a reality. Sending you all the good vibes ❤️

Id just say ‘it’s recommended children are rear facing until around 4 years old for maximum safety’ so that is what ill be doing - end of

good on you sticking to your guns under all that pressure! my daughter is about the same age and we will be rear facing as long as possible. luckily we haven't had any comments about it. definitely agree with comments above suggesting showing them the videos. sorry you're having to deal with this, but you're 100% doing the right thing xx

I saw someone once say that they always go with the decision of the parent who has done the most research. So in this case I am the same as you and have done lots of research and reading about the safety of RF vs FF and want my kids to be RF for as long as possible, therefore I saved and spent my own money on an Axkid seat which my 3.5 year old is still using and will be using until her baby sibling (due any day now) needs to move into it, approx 2 years old for our infant carrier. Now because this is something I have done extensive searching on and my partner has not, he doesn't get to decide my kids safety based on a 'feeling' or a non fact based opinion, that's the same with other family and that's exactly what I have told them all. If they want to spend some time trying to prove to me that FF is safer then they would have to provide some compelling evidence and nobody seems arsed to do that, only to make comments about stupid things like she's too big, or her legs are bent which is all bollocks

Stick to your guns girl!!! Even if their feet are laying up on the seat, better to break legs than organs. Broken bones can heal, organs not so much. I will be leaving my daughter rear facing until she’s at least 4. Especially because she’s on the smaller side.

My daughter is 3.5 and quite tall for her age and she has never complained about rear facing. It’s actually more uncomfortable for children to have their legs dangling when they’re forward facing, which is why they often cross their legs (I always did on long journeys as a kid!). As everyone else has said, show them the videos and the science behind it. It’s 5 times safer to rear face and we will be doing so for as long as possible. You’re doing the best thing for your child, don’t doubt yourself!

Ignore them. I’m not convincing anyone. They can think whatever. If I know what I’m doing is right, I’ll keep doing it and ignore all the comments. My boy was RF until 4yrs. I did cloth diapering and extended BF as well and ignored all the comments around that too. Just do you and know that you’re doing the best for your kids that you know how.

To each their own, what you feel is safest and your research is up to you as a parent. My husband and I decided to Front Face our daughter at 1 years old, we felt it was okay. That’s up to us just as this is up to you.

You can't stop the comments. Thats out of your control. Just tell them we already had this conversation and I made up my mind and leave it at that.

@Hettie @Ellis I do this for just about every decision we have to make. Every article I read gets sent to a group chat, every Instagram post from a Dr, etc. They've backed off a little, but I still need to remind them constantly about conversations we've already had

If someone tells you something blatently incorrect, make them site their source. You've shown them yours, make them show you theirs.

I just cannot wrap my head around why they care about this. Of all things related to the growth and development of a child they are going to pester you about your car seat facing the correct and recommended decision? What a ridiculous thing to strain a relationship over. You’re right and they need to leave you alone about it.

Mine is over 3.5 years old and still rear facing. It's not some big milestone or anything so it's not a big deal to be rear facing. They need to leave it be

@Skye, umm. It's her husbands decision too 🤔

At this point, I would do 1 of 2 things; send them all the articles and videos you can find on the matter, OR I'd explain that considering they refuse to do what is proven safest for your daughter regarding car seat safety, they are not allowed alone in a car with her and if they still can't except that this is safest and support this then they don't get to be alone with her at all. I would approach your husband differently and tell him you don't trust him alone in the car with her because he doesn't understand that rear facing is absolutely safest. I had a similar issue with my parents. Was even told, "It's ok, I'll sit next to him" like that would do shit all in a car accident. I just kept repeating that it's safest and he will remain rear facing. Buckle needs to be straight and straps pulled so they are snug, etc They finally got it and stopped asking. He is now 3.5 and forward faces, though I wish he still rear faced.

@Hannah if he’s uneducated then no it’s not really his decision. She’s the one that’s clearly educated herself on the matter

@Ellie that’s so jarring. 😩

I don't understand the 12% time to front face here... if the kid is not complaining and fits the seat requirements why in the fucking world is it time to front face. My 3yr3month old is still rear facing and she has not asked to change once, doesn't day she is uncomfy, doesn't make a fuss at all, so she stays that way for the few kgs and cms she has left in that seat.

@Skye, it is his child, educated or not, he gets a say. I'd absolutely fight him on it because she is right, rear facing is safest.

@Hannah him getting a say is fine, he can say his piece. But no it’s not his decision in my opinion, as it will endanger their child 🤷🏼‍♀️

Stick with what you say. My car was written off when my son was 18months (so could have been forward facing) he was rear facing and only had 2 small light bruises from the 5 point harness. I had a complete seatbelt bruise on my stomach and collarbone which was black and so painful. Before the accident i thought at 2 i might turn him as hes very tall but now im still rear facing and hes 2&3 months 14kg & 96.7cm

@Skye, I didn't say his decision is final, but as it is his child, it's just as much his decision as it is, mums. I hope he listens to her, though, and rear faces as long as possible. You can't decide a parent doesn't have a right to make decisions for their child, just because you disagree with those decisions. What would you say if the mum was saying she wanted to forward face and it was legal to do so, but her husband was resisting? Would you tell her it's not her decision, it's his? I disagree with anyone's decision to forward face their child before it's safe to do so, even my own. I wish my son was still rear facing. I don't, however, disagree with the fact that it is their decision as the child's parents.

@Hannah Jesus wept I’m not gonna argue with a stranger on the internet over my choice of words 😂 I gave my opinion and you have yours, that’s fine. We’re allowed to disagree with each other. Also if you want your son rear facing turn him back around then surely.

Key stages for readiness for a high back booster are: 1. Child is over 18kg/105cm 2. Bone maturity - a child’s pelvis fuses together and fully hardens between the ages of 4.5 and 6 (doesn’t matter if the child is big for their age or above average height/weight. Bones develop at the same age) ideally the child’s pelvis will be fully fused to allow the seatbelt to work correctly in a crash 3. Mental maturity - the child needs to understand how to sit correctly in a high back booster without leaning, reaching or moving the seatbelt or moving out of the seat 4. Ideally no sleeping in the car or if so can sleep in an upright position without moving to get comfortable Most children don’t reach all of these stages of readiness until 6 years anyways which lines up with the pelvis development :) Forward facing with a harness makes the risk of injury even higher. Also at this age they don't have kneecaps so crossing legs etc is no issue. Most end up more uncomfortable from legs dangling.

I’m not arguing with anyone about keeping my child safe when I know I’m right. Theyre staying rear facing until I say so and that’s that. I don’t see how anyone can have much more to say to you if you say that besides your husband maybe. You can try to word it a little lighter for him if you think it’s going to cause a power struggle but still be matter of fact about it.

My daughter is almost 3 and still rear facing! She’ll likely stay that way until she reaches the weight/height requirement of rear facing for her car seat. I say do what you feel safest with. Ignore the others.

Show them the videos of what happens to their bodies in a crash when FF and RF. We have the axkid one 3 that rear faces until 6/7 years old and everyone thought I was crazy for spending £650 on a car seat but they can stick their opinions because it’s my child that is in a safe car seat IF we crash at the end of the day

Ask your pediatrician! I bet they'll agree with you and all the other professionals. And then you can say your child's doctor specifically said to keep them rear facing.

@Skye I agree he could talk all he likes on the matter but I’m not listening 🙉

@Ellis right?! We get a joint decision if it’s mango or raspberry for dessert… not if he dies in a car crash or just breaks his legs!