in March 2025 Babies 🇬🇧

Need help

Honestly I’m struggling with my husband, when he’s working he sleeps through the night because I feel bad asking him to feed LO, but when he’s off from work and I ask him to do baby’s feed he always complains or it’s like hesitation before actually doing it, he doesn’t help with anything around the house, and if I do ask for his help he never does it so I have to end up doing it anyway. I’m constantly doing the laundry, washing, sterilising the bottles etc. I’m the one worrying about everything and my mind is constantly in overdrive, it’d be so nice if he just got up and did these things himself but he doesn’t even bother. I’m at the end of my tether, I just feel like a married single mum. Honestly I feel like just taking LO and leaving. I’ve had multiple conversations with him about all of the above and he just doesn’t seem to care. Nothing in his life has changed whereas mine I have to think about everything before I can even go to the toilet nevermind going out. He strolled in last night at 4am, it’s like he doesn’t care that he has responsibilities now. I’m sick of these long conversations that he clearly isn’t taking seriously. He’s a good dad when he plays and interacts with LO. But he speaks to me like I’m sh*t and swears too, I don’t want LO to grow up in a household like that, I don’t want her growing up thinking this is normal because it’s far from it. I just want to be treated how I should be, at the end of the day I did bring life into this world and put my body through all of that to be a mum and create our own little family. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m exhausted and just tired of feeling this way and just tired in general. All of the responsibility is on me and he says things like ‘ you’re the wife’ ‘you’re the mum’ ‘you’re not working’ I’m on mat leave, but if I was to go back to work who would look after my little one like I do? Because he deffo wouldn’t.

Show your support

Honestly? He sounds like an awful husband, dad and person in general 🙄 You're completely right saying your daughter shouldn't grow up seeing that, and it takes a lot of courage to see it when it's you who's going through it. I would have a final conversation with him, and he can decide if he wants to step up or lose his family.

This sounds so hard for you😔 especially post partum! Unfortunately it’s when a lot of men’s flaws are really exposed and it sounds like your husband has a lot- the fact you’ve communicated this issues and he doesn’t care to even try and change is a real issue, have you got family you could go and stay with for a few weeks? Maybe if he realised how much you do or that you are serious it might be the kick up the arse he needs and if it’s not then good riddance

I'd stop doing anything for him (washing, cooking etc) and just look after myself and baby. After the birth of our first child I'd leave my husband with the baby at least once a month to meet friends and it helped him realise how hard my day to day could be x

He doesn’t sound like a good dad at all

@Anna honeslty wish I could just escape but it’s difficult to. I’m going to have a final conversation and see where that’s headed. I feel like he gets angry if I bring these things up constantly but if he was doing them I wouldn’t bring it up again n again. I feel like a parrot half the time

@Claudia yes I do have family I can go to, that’s a good idea tbh it is really difficult my daughters only 9 weeks going onto 10 and it’s just horrible to be feeling so alone whilst having a partner too

@Kirsty yes! I need some time alone and some space but the thing is I live with my in laws so if he can’t handle LO or she’s crying he’ll fob her off to his grandma so he doesn’t understand the extent of things I actually do alone because no one helps me like they help him

You and your baby deserve a safe and supportive space and if he can’t provide that then you should go somewhere else! That must feel awful😭 sending you lots of love and strength

You should get his family to talk to him or your family before making any rash decisions. Men are usually like grown babies who have to be told a thousand times but if he’s swearing and talking to you badly it’s not good at all because these things can escalate. Maybe this how he was brought up and now it’s showing. Even if he makes a face I would still ask him to do it and watch over him whilst he’s feeding/ changing etc. maybe he’s scared of little babies? It could be anything. Need serious chats

I have a 11 week old baby so I know the stages they are at atm and it’s beyond hard. You have basically said it all yourself, you do know what the right thing to do is and I do know it’s hard but being with him is making it WAAAAY harder then it would be not being with him trust me, he sounds like a complete selfish person and shouldn’t be making you feel this way, you could have one last convo but tbh it’s not gonna change anything or it would have already plus why would you have to keep trying to MAKE someone see how you feel? If he can’t figure it out himself then he has major growing up to do, some people just don’t change and having a baby is really really hard, you don’t need this crap. Run (in the nicest way possible) you’ll feel better in the long run with a weight lifted off your shoulders.

I had to go through the same thing and it’s an uphill struggle. Sad that a lot of men act like this and leave the mum to everything. Tell him how u feel that ur done if nothing changes or suggest couple counselling, I’m sure he would be embarrassed coz they will tell him straight what he is doing is not a partnership. Good luck

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌