Things not to say to a micro premmie mum!

My first was born at 27 weeks but weighed 3lb 3oz. Very grateful for hospital staff

💯 agree! My son was a micro preemie and there was a lot of things that was very upsetting that people said. One other thing is when people would say oh your lucky you can go get some sleep and rest since your baby is in the NICU. What people didn't understand is I couldn't sleep because I didn't have my baby, I was pumping every 3 hours and was 2.5 hours away from my baby. I'm super thankful for the nurses and Drs but that was the most exhausted and scariest I've ever been and I very long 3 months.

3 replies

I feel you I was always told "atleast you can rest and didn't get fat or had to give birth to a big baby "😅.

Yes!! This!! Even the hospital staff! ‘Make the most of it while you can sleep!’ Sleep?! Who’s sleeping? I was full of anxiety and guilt and crying most of the night!!

Our flatmate's micro premmie turned 8 months and started crawling last week (born at 27w). They say the same like you do and now they don't look back because it's been all worth it! Stay strong mumma and dare to speak up! For them it's just a short comment for a few seconds but it stays with you for a long time!

Im not a premie mom so dont know if i should really commemt but didnt want to read and run Maybe people just dont think about it that way. Not excusing it in anyway just mean they dont really think about the fact that if it was just a small nappy that may be 'cute' i ln the way i find mini versions of shopping trollies cute kind way, but alot of people dont think about the meaning or use behind why that nappy is so small Maybe people would be more understanding if there was more of a spotlight on premie babies and the health issies etc Id hope i have never made the mistake and said something that made some feel bad when they all ready had so much going on I say, say something most people wont know they are saying something wrong unless someone tells them and then hopefully they would understand going forward and youve just save some else feeling the same way

3 replies

Oh no I definitely understand some people don't mean it and wouldn't know, But I do think my tolerance is low on things like this because I've seen comments like "can we see the sick tiny baby wearing it would be so cute". And I've had alot of people ask me things or say things that they know it would hurt. I've had someone ask me will my daughter be normal 😬.

And before having my daughter I didn't realise how small babies can come when I tell people she was 575grams I still don't believe it some days, but theres no way I would of found that stuff cute or asked to see a baby that small knowing it would hurt the parent

My first baby was born at 24+1 due to placental abruption. She was only here for 10.5 hours. She had lost too much blood and her heart couldn’t keep going. Those tiny diapers and blood pressure cuff are so precious to me. They serve as a reminder of how hard she and the medical staff fought to keep her here. My rainbow baby was also a preemie and although her stay was short compared to that of a micro preemie I understand some of the hell that you are speaking of.

1 reply

Those 10.5 hours your daughter was on this earth made a massive impact and I know she would of been so grateful for every second she had with you ❤. And it doesn't matter how long any micro premmie/premmie spent in hospital or on earth there all amazing xx

Small babies are cute when small is their NORMAL size. Like my mum, she was full term but barely 2.5kgs. Tiny baby but for her that was normal. Tiny and preemie is not cute it's difficult as hell and I agree that some people really need to think before they speak. They can think it's cute all they want, but don't bloody say it to the family of said baby!!

2 replies

Yessss!!! Thats something I always say there cute when small is there normal size, I found my daughter cute obviously but her sizing wasn't cute. Everyone calls her the tub of butter baby as she was born just over 500grams but know that's not cute sizing 💖

Jesus christ not even a kg???? Holy fuck u guys r strong as all hell! My heart goes out to u x I mean I've seen some small babies but never that tiny. Like if they said something like "awww she looks so cute" I wouldn't care like yeah thanks she is cute aye :) but if they go "omg she's so tiny she's so cute! Look how small!" Or some shit I'm like "bitch stfu. I'm about minus 10 minutes away from an emotional and mental breakdown and inside my head I've already bitch slapped u 7 times!" Violent I know but stress does that to people sometimes u know? (For the record I would never actually hit someone lol)

My heart goes out to you momma ❤️

Oh tell me about it, I’ve been told all sorts of things.My baby was born just 4lbs and let me tell you now she is 13lbs at five months and all I get is, why is she so tiny? Could you try and feed every two hours maybe that will fatten her up, oh don’t sit her up she is too tiny for that, please don’t do that she is too tiny for that 😒. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve cried at night over those comments

This hurts my heart. What you must have gone through seeing your daughter like that and not being able to hold her. I'm so glad she's doing ok now.

My son was 7 weeks early and was big for his gestational age, but I do get it. You look at these tiny items they use and it’s scary knowing that there is a need for them to be that tiny. A blood pressure cuff that fit around my thumb is what they used to check his blood pressure. His 3rd day in there they needed to change his IV while I was bringing milk down that I pumped in my own hospital room since I was still inpatient. His nurse couldn’t find anyone else to help so I had to help hold him down for her to get an iv in his hand. It’s not fun having a baby who comes out needing medical support because they came early. Their body hasn’t learned to keep breathing, or to eat. Their vocal chords haven’t developed yet so they don’t even have a “normal” newborn cry. My son sounded similar to a goat, but the nurses said the smaller babies sometimes sound like kittens. My son didn’t have as rough a time as other NICU babies, and I sometimes feel bad for feeling bad about his NICU stay.

Hi there, I had my baby girl on the 8th of this month at 25w4d - emergency c section due to cord prolapsing through my buldging water sack going out of my cervix, preterm labour and placental abruption. She’s doing well though. She was 717g at birth, I’m in Melbourne too, she’s at Monash childrens. Would love to chat if that’s ok

2 replies

And I'm so happy to hear she's doing so well 🥰

Hey maddi, yes I'm happy to chat if you would like to message me. My daughter was actually born at Monsh hospital to in Clayton ❤.

My husbands Aunt keeps telling me that all we have to do to put weight on her is give her grits and potatoes. My child is exclusively Breastfed. 🤔 Also not even 7 weeks yet. She says, I know they say it's not good for them, BUT I did it with All my kids and they turned out fine. She means well, BUT..... 🤦