I've lost myself
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Looks like depression, get some therapy.
I’m pregnant with my second. First is 11 months. I’d gone back to working part time when she was 6 months and love my career. I was looking forward to doing more time at work as I’m upping my daughter’s nursery from two mornings per week and one full day with her grandparents, to two full days at nursery and one with her grandparents. Wed morning when she is at nursery I don’t work so that I have time for life admin and a break from being ‘mum’. I know this one morning is what has kept me sane. If you can, try and get a little time like this for yourself and you will feel a bit more human. Last week I went to a couple of charity shops and bought a table and went to the dentist for a filling! But it was me time!
First of all! You are good enough!! Don't tell yourself otherwise. The job market is ruthless and always disheartening. And you're in a period of your life that is already challenging, so taking rejection after rejection at a time like this is extra demoralising. I totally get it. I'm not where you are yet,(I have a 1 year old, nearly due 2nd) but I definitely have felt that I'm losing myself to motherhood. I don't see my friends much & often wonder will they still be there when my life starts to settle (if it ever will). I was very athletic before & constantly dream of my old life. But I have to just think of it like it's on hold & whatever will be will be. I'm sure I'm on the same roller coaster as you but just an earlier stage. But I just know it will all work out when we get passed the toddler phase. They're maturing & by the time they're 4 you won't know yourself! In a good way! You'll look back at the chaos you got through & feel like a champion! And with the most cherished trophy there is: family
I definitely relate! I had a bit of an identity crisis after having my first because I felt so lost and didn’t know who I was anymore because motherhood felt so all-consuming. I am two months PP with my second and my first is twenty months old now and I still don’t have many/any interests outside of being their mom. My biggest advice is finding mom friends in a similar season of life as you and leaning into those relationships. Your friends with kids may also feel similar things, they just don’t advertise it so if you open up to them you might find out that while they seem happily busy they have similar struggles.
I’m current a full time stay at home mum of a 7month old and a 2 year old. Almost all of my old life and body have gone. But I have found having something I do for me everyday keeps me sane. I like to have an ongoing project that somewhat pushes my brain but I can chip away at 30 mins a day so I don’t get stressed by the extra jobs. At the moment all these projects are gardening related, but it might be a new recipe, a craft project, an exercise class, a phone call with a friend etc. Small wins but a little each day recharges me.
Hi I feel this, even though I am a first time mum. I know it may not feel like this right now but this is such a great opportunity to find a new job that you will love even more and fit much better with your needs. I think it’s totally life changing having a baby and the values and roles you’ve had are completely changed. And it sounds like you’ve invested a lot in a job previously that perhaps wasn’t as rewarding anyway. So, basically I just wanted to cheer you on a little bit, even though it feels like you are lost just now - good new things will come to you x
Your career doesn't need to be who you are unless you really strongly identify with your job. It's just what has kept you most busy in the past. You could see this as a "blank canvas" opportunity to try lots of new things 😊 Maybe something else actually gets your blood pumping more than your old job? Disclaimer - I'm not from the demographic of 2 under 2 that you wanted to hear from.