My little boy is 10 weeks and I still feel like someone if going to come along and say thanks for looking after him 🤦🏻♀️ I was also told that I would hate leaving him and would rush to get back and the two days I have been without him i ran out the door. But when I came back I loved the cuddles and felt I could look after him better. If you want to talk about it just message. I have spoke to health visitor and she said she had no worries and could see the bond between us both. Maybe mention it if you are worried but again your journey is different. I have been very honest with my friends ans it turns out they felt the same and it is normal it just people don’t voice things thinking they are wrong or a bad mum. Hope this helps a little ❤️
My lo will be 14w on Wednesday. I had IVF and a C-section too. I felt the same through my pregnancy, I kept thinking it can't be real, what if something goes wrong? What if this or what if that. it took me a while to start buying things. I did my baby shower when I was 7 months because I didn't want to 'jinx' things. Then when she was born, of course I absolutely loved her and I still do, but for the first couple of weeks I couldn't believe she's mine. It felt weird saying her name and that she's mine to the point in my head before I'd speak my nieces name came into my mind or my cousin's lg. I've nearly slipped up saying it too, all because it didn't quite register that my dream finally came true after years of trying followed by a tough start to my pregnancy with OHSS and HG. So at the start I couldn't feel excited too much because I was in so much pain and felt so poorly. When I started to get better, I was really excited and I couldn't believe how fast it was flying. She made me cry on Saturday (1/2)
(2/2) because she woke for a feed 30/40 mins early so I tried to distract her untill it was time. It worked, she was all smiles & happy but then she gave me this other type of smile. The only way I can describe it is 'it was full of love' it was a closed mouth nearly eye watering smile. Then I randomly started crying 😭. An overflow of love & pride for her. To note, I also had a emergency C-section. She was due 24/4 but I had a planned section booked for the 18th, though I went into labour on the 10th at 6:30am though I didn't know it was contractions. Went for breakfast at 11 at the cafe by the drs, midwife appointment at 11:55 to be told I'm having contractions. 'Go home grab the case have lunch then go to the MAU.' I had lunch on route. Gets to MAU, 20 mins after being monitored they checked me. I was at 5cm, which shocked us all because apparently I was doing well for 5cm. When they realised how far, they rushed everything to get me down for my section before I progressed further
I don't necessarily think this is because she was an ivf baby to be honest, bonding is hard sometimes, I didn't have that rush of love when I held my first child and I was fully expecting it! I longed for a baby for years and then they plopped her on me and for a couple of years I was like "now what?" I didn't feel like she was mine. I did end up with PND and was medicated until she was 9, mostly because I left it years because I was scared to speak about how I felt. Have you wondered if maybe this might be the case for you, perhaps a GP visit will do you the world of good to get it off your chest. Everyone talks about what a blessing it is to be a mum, but not many tell you about the roller coaster of emotions that you go through, bonding can be hard and it's even harder when you don't talk to anyone about Xx