Lonely

I have 2 children, 1 boy 14 months and a baby girl that’s a few weeks old. Ever since becoming a mum I’ve felt so lonely. Since having my first child I don’t speak to my family because I wanted to break the toxic cycles and give my children the best chance at life. My husband works 14 hours a day, 5 days a week so I rarely see him because when he’s home, he’s sleeping ready for the next day/night at work. I’m not a huge fan of my MIL anymore either before I had children we were really close but as time has gone on and opinions differed this changed drastically! Plus when I was in labour with my daughter recently she did a poor job of looking after my son & left the minute I got home from the hospital because her favourite tv show was more important than meeting her granddaughter (her loss) I’m just constantly alone with my children and although I love them ever so dearly & I wouldn’t trade it for the world I’m just so lonely & I’ve really lost myself. I don’t know what I enjoy anymore, I don’t know what my style is, my favourite food just anything that was me suddenly isn’t. Is anyone else struggling with this? Just needed to get it off my chest because sitting with it is making it worse.