Discipline

Probably not what you’re looking for sorry! I don’t discipline my 3 year old for having natural and valid emotions, their brains aren’t developed enough to know how to handle big feelings and to punish them for expressing them (albeit this can be VERY frustrating, especially when trying to rush out of the house) is not productive. It’s not bad behaviour and discipline won’t help them learn healthy ways to handle emotion. These accounts have been mega helpful with my understanding of child development, also ‘gentle’ parenting is NOT ‘permissive’ parenting and boundaries are important. You’re the leader still! https://www.instagram.com/nurturedfirst/ https://www.instagram.com/the.therapy.shed/ https://www.instagram.com/theteachermomma/ https://www.instagram.com/guidinglittlehearts/ https://www.instagram.com/thekinected_ot/ https://www.instagram.com/courtneyenglish.ot/ https://www.instagram.com/parenting.resilience/ That said it’s totally up to you what you would like to do 💗

I don’t know if discipline is quite the way to think of it, makes me think of things like punishments lol - but perhaps some new methods for helping him work through his feelings? All 3 year olds are the same, mine also can be hard work getting ready. Check out ‘Big Little Feelings’ on Instagram they have some useful advice.

Thanks so much!! I’ll take a look That’s the thing I don’t understand if it this is bad behaviour or normal!?

@Shreya Completely normal behaviour unfortunately 😅 Promise you’re not alone, it just take a bit of a shift in thinking to take a step back, deep breath and try to understand what’s going on in their head! If it makes you feel any better, our 3yo came back from nursery yesterday, had a great day apparently, and just sat on my lap and screamed irrationally as soon as we got home. We went away for a week so it was first day back and I honestly think having to be a ‘good girl’ all day and hide her true feelings about being apart from us meant she bottled it all up until she got home. We’re her safe space to let out how she’s really feeling and we make sure we allow her to feel. It’s really tough, especially like you say in the morning (or the middle of the night which also happened for us last night!!) but it’s not forever. We’re also human though and it can be triggering for us to have to regulate our response when all we want to do is shout back! I try not to beat myself up when I do

Agree with all above - normal behaviour. Set expectations of what needs to happen in the morning. Get their clothes, bag, shoes ready so you know what to expect. Could they be tired ? Sit down at their level when they have a tantrum. Kids are 😁🙈

We discipline but very mindfully. First of all they need to know the expectations. We talk about it, explain why we need to do whatever they’re being ask to/not to do. Get them to engage in that conversation so they show they really understand. After that give them opportunities to make the right choice and pause up every single correct step (eg, sat on the steps but kicked away shoes. ‘Well done for sitting on the steps - that was such good choices! Now we need to put on those shoes - where did they go?). Don’t make a big deal out of poor choices just redirect to positives. If all this has happened and they have still made poor choices, we use a time out for a minute. After the time out we discuss why they were in time out, what needs to happen next time and have an apology and a big cuddle. Time out happens very rarely in our house but it does happen sometimes. Conversations are important and valued. It’s also helpful, if you’re researching, to look up zones of regulation.

That is a method of giving the kids the vocabulary they need to express their feelings. It’s something I will be gradually introducing with him over the next few months.

Yeah, unfortunately this is very normal behaviour for this age. I found it hard at first and would get very frustrated with the tantrums and bad behaviour but I’ve found a few things have helped. Getting ready in the morning - I try to give options, let him pick. Ask him which arm or leg first. Just basically ways to give him control and make it feel like he is choosing to get dressed! Most other meltdowns I’ve found asking him if he wants a cuddle helps. Most of he will say yes. They are just big feelings that they can’t handle so it turns into anger and crying. He usually settles down with a cuddle (although when you are in a rush, it’s not ideal to stop and cuddle for 10 mins!)