I was tricked into naming my daughter ‘Libelle’ by my husband. Should I be mad?

Dragonflies are beautiful, mean hope and are good omen. Does the rage come after his lie or that the word doesn't mean precious?

I don’t think you can just change a 3 year olds name like that! You also love the name so it would be petty. And dragonflies aren’t bad they’re cool and come in lovely striking colours. Your daughter will always be precious to you regardless of her name meaning. But of course he shoudn’t have lied.

Why wouldn’t you have looked it up

Is there a reason you didn’t research the name before agreeing to it or for the 3 years she has been named that? I researched my kids names and possible names for months.

I think a name that means dragonfly is more special than one that means precious. Does your daughter like her name? I get being mad he lied tho, he shouldn’t have done that.

Lying about something like that is extremely weird behavior

Why are we TRICKING our significant other into forever decisions. That’s fucking bat shit crazy to me. Secondly, I’m not someone that cares about “what does your name mean”. I don’t ask people that. I don’t think people generally care or ask others this. So while your husband is a shit head ….is think you can breath a sigh of relief because her peers won’t be asking her what her name means/ repents. I mean, when they’re 18 or 25 or 35 they won’t be asking her. So, I would not change it. If your daughter is 3 and already familiar with her name, it would be weird of you and daddy to suddenly change out: But husband sucks ASSSSSS

It’s the LIE!

@𝔾𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖 the rage is definitely from the lie. Who lies about that?

@Sorrel legally I can change it. Dragonflies are cool but my daughter shouldn’t be named after an insect.

@Dana 🦅♥️🤍💙 Mainly because I trusted him and had zero reason to second guess anything

@S. annalese I am disgusted by this whole situation

It’s not about the legality it’s about the fact your 3 year old is USE to her name. Changing it would be confusing and then everyone else who’s been around her? I get he lied but dragonfly isn’t bad and it’s not like anyone’s really gonna know it means dragonfly. That insect is beautiful. It is weird he lied why did he lie? The name is pretty either way but dang girl I would’ve researched any name 😭😭 even if I trusted someone It’s not your fault tho he’s weird for that for sure! But it’s way to late to be changing the name

I get your anger so don't have an answer, but for some reason I'm leaning towards a compromise. Perhaps call her and introduce her to others as Belle, which means beautiful in French. But don't change the name officially. Dragonfly isn't a bad totem to carry through life. And there are many girls' names based on insects. Yours is just more original. Did he know when he told you three years ago or did he find out afterwards?

@Mas babe he has been laughing about it all afternoon. I call her belle mostly but I do want to change it completely before she’s old enough to remember. I hate insects and I hate dragons so I don’t want anything like that. My older daughter is called Ivory-Rose.

@Patience that’s why I want to change before she begins school, I think it will be a lot quicker for her to come to terms with if everyone in school calls her by her new name

I wouldn’t change it. If you are set on changing it, it is likely you will need his consent. Do you think he will consent to a name change?

I actually think the meaning is way cooler as dragonfly than precious lol but I get why you’re mad. I think it’s too late to change it and also why would you change it if you love it aside from the meaning? Most people do go around knowing or looking up baby name meanings or introducing themselves based on the meaning

Ngl when I first read the name my thought instantly went to the legal term libel which is basically written defamation, that’s what I would be more concerned about but honestly dragonfly is pretty cool imo

Even if I believed my husband, I would have looked it up to see if it had other meanings or it's origin as I did with our current kids' names. I picked out my daughter's name and still googled it extensively 🤣🙈 But yeah I agree, it's such a weird thing to lie about. Maybe he thought it meant precious? And found out it didn't? I just googled it and apparently it can mean little book or dragonfly but my husband also reminded me that libel is a crime 😀

Why does the name meaning matter if you love the name and your daughter by now will know her name. Also slightly confused why you didn’t look it up if meaning was so important. Think it’s a lovely unique name regardless of meaning. Also it’s not like the meaning is something offensive or horrible.

My son is recently 2 & knows his own name 100%, introduces himself etc. So I can’t imagine how a 3 year old would feel having their name randomly changed? Honestly I wouldn’t change it and cause your child confusion because you “don’t want her named after an insect”. It’s not like people ask “what does your name mean?” when you tell them haha. I doubt it’ll ever even come up. I’d put your feelings aside on this one & focus on the impact it would have on your little one

To be fair, if my husband and I were researching names together and he said how about _______ it means _______, I would not feel the need to verify this information. I would trust him. I may want to do a deeper dive myself but not necessarily if I love the name. You love the name. It IS her name. It will take work to get over the deception but I wouldn’t change it. Does your husband like dragon flies. I am having trouble wrapping my head around why he would do this.

It sounds painful as there's a lot of symbolic meaning that must feel like it's being trampled on - the trust in choosing the name, the concern to choose the name for a child that is precious to you. I hear you.But I think there may be a difference between how you rightly feel and how your daughter, a little person in her own right, may feel or what her experience of this name will be like. I'd do what's ultimately best for your daughter. Does she like the name? If so, then consider how to come to terms with it, and know you've taken back some control by using Belle as the go-to name. As Shakespeare said, a rose by any other name still smells as sweet as a rose. In other words, your daughter is precious regardless of the name you give her. Most people seeing the full name will probably just think it's a variation of Belle. Your daughter will probably be more chuffed you cared so much about giving her a name that meant a lot than any name you could actually give her.

@Mas I get what you’re saying but I really think she will thank me for this in the future … her sister has golden blonde hair and electric blue eyes… she’s called Ivory-Rose and people are constantly comparing her to Libelle.. who has brown hair and brown eyes. I don’t want her thinking we named her after an insect, as if she’s any less than her sister. It’s nasty! I am extremely upset about all of this. Wanna go back 3 years, really do!

How do you say it? Leebelle, Leyebelle(L👁️bell), LAbelle. I am wondering if you can change the spelling before she learns to spell it. But it depends on how you say it. If it’s a short i and kind of sounds like LAbelle you could spell it that way. In my very limited googling Labelle is a French term for the beautiful woman. It may be a stretch but I am trying to figure a way not to confuse your daughter and honor a better meaning for you.

@Kate I just see a big dragonfly now when I look at her. I hate insects and he knows that. He initially said it as a joke apparently then when I fell in love with the name, he couldn’t bring himself to admit it was a lie. I’m so embarrassed

@Andi he will because I’m angry and he knows he’s messed up

Leave the name, can always be shortened to Libby or Belle.

You said you fell in love with the name. Why does it matter now that it IS your daughter? I get being upset about the lie but honestly this sounds like a totally reasonable situation from his perspective. He meant it as a joke, which is completely fair and normal, but then didn't want to ruin a name you loved. That doesn't sound malicious at all, that sounds like a loving husband who ended up in an unexpected situation and made the best judgement call he could in the moment to not ruin something that made you happy. It's been 3 years, it's not fair on your daughter to suddenly change her name now and honestly I would be SHOCKED if she grew up to care more about the meaning of her name (which even if you don't like insects isn't anything bad, it's not like it means something negative or an insult) than the challenges and confusion you'll cause her by changing her name now. I'm sorry but I think this is something you need to work on and get over. It's unfortunate but it's a problem you're creating

Imagine being 18 and you figure out your mom changed your name or even somehow remember it and figure out the meaning was so you didn’t feel less than your sister who everyone adored more.. just because you think brown hair and brown eyes is not as great as blonde hair and blue eyes? Maybe I’m taken that entirely wrong but that doesn’t sit right with me 🧐

As a person, whose parents messed up and changed the name, I would never do this for my child. You can't imagine how important the name to have a strong feeling of yourself. My father gave me my name without mother's consent. She refused to use it, so they used another one until I went to school. It was a shock when a lot of people suddenly started to call me by my real name. I started to hate my real name, because it wasn't me! I hated to introduce myself, I avoided public places, I hated my parents. It was so cruel. I was able to fix my head and come to an agreement with myself only with the help of psychologist. Libelle is a beautiful name. Belle is a very good form if it. Your daughter knows it, it's part of her identity. Please, don't ruin it. She will not say thank you for the trauma 😔

I don’t think she’s going to be upset when she’s older that the name means dragonfly. Or be comparing her name to her sister because it’s the name of an insect, however if you want to go into it…ivory is very closely associated with Elephants and their tusks. Libelle is a beautiful name and she isn’t going to look too deeply into her name being an insect, there’s worse names out there. Infact many people believe dragonfly’s are beautiful, maybe you don’t but she may one day and love that her name means that. It’s beautifully different. My son’s name literally means farmer or earth worker, doesn’t mean he’s A going to be one or B be angry. He’s named after his grandad. Edit to add: not one person has ever asked me what my children’s names mean, it’s not that important imo. People call their child Lucifer and we all know who’s named that, but it doesn’t mean that’s the specific meaning they chose when choosing the name, because there's variations of it.

You didn’t know the real meaning of her name for three years, I think it’s pretty unlikely anyone else will know it or care about it. You liked how the name sounded when you heard it, I think being an adult who is able to get over your own dislike of insects like a grownup should be able to do is much more important than the hurt and confusion it’s going to cause a three year old to change her name.

Commented before I saw you say you hate bugs. I think that being a dragonfly is cool. They’re really pretty in their own way and you can tell your daughter that when she’s older or now and ngl all of her friends will think she’s cool. My daughter has a friend at school who’s name is ‘Robyn’ and to her that’s the coolest name ever because she’s named after a pretty bird (she’s 4 and constantly asks me to call her a bird name like her friend)

I don’t think the majority of people actually know the meanings behind names anyway, id rather stick with the name than confuse my daughter who’s known herself as that name for 3 years already. It wouldn’t be fair to her at all, it’s a really pretty name.

Has he explained why he lied about such a thing?

@Brittany OP said he meant it as a joke but then she loved the name and he couldn't bring himself to tell her the real meaning

@Lacy ah ok thank you, I missed that part. OP the name is pretty. I don’t think anyone is going to go about meeting your daughter and then googling her name after. I wouldn’t change her name at this point. For me, the big issue is the ridiculously stupid lie that he couldn’t bring himself to confess about 🙄

Sounds like your problem is not with the name as much as it is with your husband. Which I totally understand, strange for him to deceive you on that, but you like her name, she’s old enough to know it already, and that would be a tough adjustment for a toddler. It sounds like you need to address him & the fact that he lied about it and finds it funny.

I strongly feel it’s unfair and too late to change her name at 3. That’s her sense of self, her identity. This is more about you and your feelings than how she will feel about the name, she is ONLY going to feel negatively towards this beautiful name if YOU project that on to her, please think carefully about how she might feel and what is best for her, not what’s going to make you feel best here, this is about your daughter xx

I also got to say after a year I just wouldn’t. Mainly because that’s when they are use to their name my daughter responds to her name at 15 months! I feel it also creates someone’s identity everyones name fits that person and it becomes them but that’s my own belief My name is Patience my moms not patient and doesn’t like to be patient and I’m not patient but I love my name because its a part of me

Girl your daughters 3 and not once you thought to google it If the meaning meant that much to you???

You can’t change a name without his consent anyway. Also there is a reason even adopted kids do not have their names changed after a certain age … because it’s confusing and can mess with their sense of self and identity

why does the meaning matter at all? i have no idea what my sons name means lol. i chose it because i love it, also, if the meaning was so important then you could’ve researched it beforehand

my son reacts to his name at 8mo and i couldn’t even imagine changing his name, let alone 3yo

I think it's perfectly valid that you feel upset, I think most people would feel the same. It's a bit strange he didn't tell you the real meaning behind it. However, it's a pretty name and it's been your daughter's name for three years. It's hers now and belongs to her, not you, so I wouldn't change it (as your later post suggests you are planning). She's also at the age where she might find a change confusing, as it's already a part of her identity.

There is always a risk when people go for unique names like this one. He must have found it funny seeing you fall in love with it after knowing you hate insects. A bit childish. He should have told you before getting it on the BC to give you a chance to change your mind. Does she have a middle name she can go by? But if you loved the name, why go as far as changing it now, it can bring some confusion with paperwork later in life so if you are going to do it, rather sooner than later.

Your child is her own person not just an extension of you. You see a dragonfly when you look at her? Like wtf? She’s your DAUGHTER. it also sounds like you are the one comparing your daughters. Why should she be less proud of her name because it’s a dragonfly or because of her appearance because she’s not blonde and blue eyed?

I understand her point of view. Not that she's comparing her children, but she sees what the world is like, how nasty and insensitive people can be. My siblings are mixed, but my sister, whom I shared the same father with, are black. Growing up was torturous due to grown adults making slight comments about our colour. Of course, as a child, your brain didn't think that far. I thought my sibling were better because they were lighter. Not to mention, I hated my real name as I was bullied because of it. Now , as an adult, I would never change my complexion. My name...meh! I'm still working on that 😆. Others find it quite unique thou. It's your responsibility as her parents to let her know how special and equally beautiful she is as her sister. I'm sure that you're doing that already. On the other hand, I really don't think that people would google her name. She might wonder, though. How's she like? Does she like insects?