Should I stay or leave and how?

I’ve been married for 4 years, and if I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. I feel stuck, unhappy, and like I’ve lost myself. My dreams and hopes feel out of reach. I don’t feel loved or like we’re on the same team. My husband is a good provider and fun around others, but when we’re alone, he’s often unkind. He dismisses my feelings, gets defensive when I express them, and sometimes uses my past, my family, or my mental health struggles against me. I already struggle with depression from a difficult childhood, and his words have deepened my self-doubt and low self-esteem. I’ve tried to build a relationship with his family, but they’ve never accepted me and were against our marriage from the start. When I bring up concerns about his family, he always takes their side. He’s a mama’s boy and prioritizes his family over me and our child, often helping them or making decisions without consulting me. It’s not that I mind him helping, but it hurts that he doesn’t include me in the process or consider how it affects us. Lately, he’s been spending most of his time playing video games, staying up all night and sleeping during the day. I feel like a single parent, handling our toddler alone while he’s immersed in his games. He knows it bothers me but continues, even saying he’ll keep playing just because it upsets me. When I try to leave, he doesn’t apologize—he just hugs me, says sweet things, and convinces me to stay and he tells me he loves me and I need to understand him and not be selfish. I’m financially dependent on him, have no degree, and am pregnant with our second child, which makes leaving feel impossible. Our relationship is a cycle of brief peace followed by days of arguments, tears, and growing resentment. We don’t do anything exciting as a couple, and I no longer feel happy or hopeful about our future. I don’t want to be with him, but I also feel like I can’t live without him cuz I still love him. I feel trapped can’t make up my mind.

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Tbh I feel like you have answered your own question whether you should leave or not......Have you got family you can go and move to temporarily while you sort out/plan what you'll do as its really not worth staying there/staying with him if you feel this way and once your out you will wish you left sooner!!

I have a family, but they won’t accept me to stay with them rent free and if I go and not pay rent, I will be miserable cuz they will act out everyday over small things. I don’t think I can work with my toddler and pregnancy. I can’t afford daycare rn.idk what I could do online to earn money. I’m so lost and lonely. I have many ppl in my life but nobody is willing to help me like I can’t rely on them temporarily to get on my feet.

Hey message me. My mom was in a situation similar I could share her experiences and if you need a friend to talk to I’m here.

Im so sorry you’re going through this girl. You don’t deserve any of this . Unfortunately I hate, when we as women feel trapped & can’t leave, because of financial situations. It’s always a way out sweetie, just know that . Your husband unfortunately, is verbally, & emotionally, & mentally abusing you. And he knows, you rely & depend on him for everything. You have to ask yourself, would you want your daughter to be treated like this by a man. Or your son to treat his woman like this. You’re better than this , & you deserve the respect & love a man has to offer . Not being depressed or sad all the time . I believe you said you’re pregnant again, & you definitely don’t want to put that stress on your unborn baby. Also maybe, you can start looking for work. It’s nothing like a woman having her own money . Maybe then you can save & leave him if you have too.

I want to make my own money but since I’m juggling house hold chores, toddler and pregnancy, idk if I can keep up. Also since I don’t have much work experience or a degree, I can’t find a job. At least remote and in person is not an option due not having family support or babysitting

Have you ever thought about working at a daycare or preschool. I mean, then you can put your babies in day are with you & also getting paid & save a little money . Some daycares will pay for you to get your CDA CHILD DEVELOPMENT ASSOCIATE DEGREE. And that’s more money an hr . Also look into Verizon wireless working from home . You don’t have to have experience at all . They will train you .

I’ll look into those thank you!

Ok girl, good luck! And if you ever need to tlk you can inbox me . My name is Jan, keep your head up, think positive. And speak positivity into life . Always speak things into existence, the things you want in life . Trust me it really does help .

Thank you!

I understand all of this because I'm in the same boat! Only reason I didn't leave was because our son and I didn't have a place to go at the time. I understand you love him but just remember it can become worse over time or you might not be accepting it fully now. Or tell him you will leave if things don't change

I have told him I’ll leave but he thinks I’m manipulating him to get my way. It’s cuz I have not acted on it. I once left before I had my first child but he begged me and said he’ll change and nothing changed

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