Just need to let this out.

I felt like this with my first and had an induction that lead to a c section. Honestly it will get better. I ended up taking time off work when I was due to go back and spoke to my doctor. Made sure I shared how I felt with my mum, my partner even my friends as long as I felt comfortable. You’re not alone in this, there will be hundreds of mums who feel the same. You’ve made a great start putting it out to the world of strangers on here, that’s brave!! You’re going to be an amazing mum and just remember, it takes a couple years for us mums to truly feel ourselves again after a baby. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Take each day as it comes and your boy will love you know matter what! ❤️

Thank you @Sophie I’ve been sharing with my mom and husband and they’ve been the best. It’s just the feeling of not knowing of what’s to come. My mind is alway thinking of the “what ifs “ moment. My son is absolutely beautiful and I know the hormones are still regulating. I just can’t help myself from crying at the sight of him

You are not alone. Ive also felt like this during that stage. I stayed at my parents with my Husband who were all great. After his 2 week paternity leave ended i remember feeling more anxious that i’m going to be alone with my baby and thinking negative things and panicking. Just remember it’s a whole new life you have now. Will take some getting used to. Whatever you’re feeling is completely normal. You’re only human. Once you get into a routine you’ll see it’s so much better and it gets easier. Ask for help when you need to, rest whenever you can. My daughter’s 19 months now and i very well remember when i felt like this x

When I came home with my son I cried the whole night because I’d lost the comfort of having midwives around to support me. I have a really supportive husband and he was incredible that first night, but I still wished I could have stayed in hospital. After a little while I felt so much better - being in my own home without other babies crying on the ward helped too! You will get through this and things will seem easier. It’s all trial and error at first and it’s okay to not know what to do. Sending love!

Have you had a birth debrief at all? It is super stressful coming home and being trusted with a tiny baby who is entirely dependent on you. Where I am there are dedicated 24/7 hotlines you can call for any advice and they’re super helpful and friendly. Is there anything similar over in the states? Maybe it will help ease your mind knowing that you can always call if you are worried

i remember feeling this exact way with my first baby. I didn't want to leave the hospital because I was scared of doing everything by myself and not knowing how to do it without the nurses telling you how. it was very hard the first couple weeks I remember crying and always being anxious for any little thing and make myself overly stressed out over everything. it does get better though especially if you have some support. you got this mama!! I know it may feel overwhelming but just know that you don't have to be perfect you are learning as you go and try to take it day by day. sleep deprivation also makes anxiety worse so try to sleep as much you can whenever you are able too and reach out to your support system whenever you need it. take deep breaths and dont be scared to contact your babies doctor with questions that your not sure about or even if its something simple that's why they are there to help and answer any questions you may have. sending love your way ❤️

@Yailin thanks for the reassurance. I have a really good support systems, they do their best to remind it’s going to be okay. I definitely wanted to go home but was also afraid to the leave the room that became our safe place. I am definitely trying to work on the sleep part as much as possible. Hopefully see our doctor soon, considering the holiday backed us up a bit.