Narcissistic parent

My mother is a narcissist she treated me horrible as a child and growing up I always thought I was over thinking things my sibling was also treated the same we now suffer from mental health we struggle to deal with the trauma of it all especially keeping the mental and emotional abuse to ourselves growing up. I now have a 15 month old daughter who is my whole entire world I completely adore her I see me in her everyday and it hits me how a mother could be so heartless .. anyway so while I was pregnant I had some messages about how she thought she had the right to be at my scans and be my birthing partner obviously my answer was no way.. I needed and wanted support while giving birth she’s never one said how proud she is or supported me in anyway not even a congratulations on my pregnancy. When she was born I just wanted myself and partner at the hospital no visitors all family was to visit the next day which my in laws agreed with she kicked up a massive fuss again assuming she had the right to be there she used the words ‘I’m stepping back’ more than once so she was then told if you step back you won’t step forward again we didn’t speak for 5 months I was sent horrible messages as well as my partner for just having my back. We then started speaking again I agreed she could see the baby but with myself there she still causes problems all the time won’t speak to my partner. She messaged me to ask if she could take my baby to see Santa after I had just been told by my sibling she had asked him to lie to me about something so I ignored the messsge as I can’t deal with the confrontation but she is now trying to turn my other siblings and dad against me it’s what she does best she always have but I still always think I’m over thinking thing, over protective or trying to rule my daughter.. what would you do In this situation? I just wish it was as easy as cut her off but unfortunately there is other family members involved that are vulnerable due to her mental abuse Apologise for the long post just really looking for advice from anyone that’s been through similar

Show your support

I’m currently struggling with very similar situation with mum and stepdad after a lifetime of difficulties with them. I’m currently stepping back and trying to protect my own mental health but it’s extremely difficult as I’m obviously getting all sorts of abuse for it. Lots of nasty messages about me being sent to my two teenage children. Feel free to message me and we can try to work through it together ❤️

My mom is a narcissist also but in a different way. We had a very tumultuous relationship which lead us to not be close, but she believes that because she’s my mom and birthed and took care of me that she has rights and automatic access to my business. She expects a close relationship such as me calling her to check on her or calling and texting back when she reaches out. She pretty much says I should be thinking and considering her more when I have a things going on of my own and have my hands full with a toddler. I really don’t like to deal with the confrontation so I tend to avoid also, when I’m fed up we will argue and I stop talking to her for a couple months. Somehow we end up talking and it’s the same cycle. I have yet to take my own advice but boundaries is so important. It’s not a right it’s a privilege to be in your child’s life, and gmas should always take a step back and let mom be mom. With normal help and advice but not decision making. If she can’t handle that she

doesn’t have a place in you or your child’s life. Sorry for the long response! Just wanna let you know you’re not alone and if you ever wanna talk you can message me.

Cut her out your life. If you lose other family members because of it, oh well. I'm sure they'll work out she's the problem eventually.

@Lou its such a hard thing to deal with.. I used to wonder why my mother didn’t love me like my friends mothers loved their daughters. I think to myself all the time just cut her off but then due to the childhood trauma I always think I’m overthinking things. I just feel so guilty on my daughter not having the family around her that she should have Sending big hugs to you ❤️

@Jenn I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this 😞 it’s really not easy having to deal with a narcissistic mother even harder when they never see any wrong doing. It’s not easy to just cut off and go on with you’re life I think deep down we all just want a loving mother Thank you so much I hope you’re ok ❤️

Honestly I believe it’s better not to have that negative influence around the kids. My mum has been terminally Ill for eight years so it’s difficult to step back now but I just can’t keep going with how things have been. It’s a really suit situation x

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌